


Quitters Never Win

by deviance



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: AU, Angst, Caring friends, Depression, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I will finish it one day, Im not giving up though, M/M, Other fandoms have stolen me im afraid, Panic Attacks, Slow Build, caring parents, for now, haitus, lots of focus on Aomine's character, sorry people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deviance/pseuds/deviance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One decision can alter a lifetime.</p><p>Kagami decides to try to go to high school in America for an extra year before moving to Japan. In that one year, Aomine loses faith in basketball completely and turns in his resignation from the team to Wakamatsu. When Kagami finally moves to Japan, he hears the legend of the Miracle's ace that used to play, but can he manage to ever get Aomine to show him his strength?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some angsty thing I've been considering for a while. It really was fate that Kagami showed up and beat Aomine when he did. Because honestly, where would Aomine be if he'd had another year of loneliness?

Aomine just couldn’t do it. The other Miracles weren’t enough to get his passion for the game—his _love_ for basketball—back. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting honestly; like some newcomer was going to suddenly appear and make it all better. Like he’d suddenly find his rival when everyone he went against were the same people he’d beaten before. Only Akashi had won over him, which didn’t surprise him too much since the redheaded captain had brought all of his teammates to a level just on the cusp of the Zone while also being in the Zone himself. Aomine was a great basketball player—an unbelievable one when in the Zone—but even he couldn’t mark five players all in a faux-Zone. 

The game against Tetsu had been the worst though. He’d crushed Seiren without even meaning to, without even trying. The look on his ex-shadow’s face had been the same one he’d had when he’d told him he couldn’t catch his passes anymore. Aomine had never wanted to see that look again and now he had. Something in his chest clenched tightly; an old wound, aching.

But that’s all basketball was anymore. An ache, a festering wound, an infected love. He was killing himself trying to regain what once was. He was digging himself deeper into the hole as he desperately tried to climb himself out of. And he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t. His mom was worried and talking about taking him to a therapist; his dad, he knew, was close to agreeing. Satsuki never looked at him without that disappointed, sad glint in her eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d hung out with her without her forcibly dragging him somewhere. He just never felt like doing anything anymore. The pain and disappointment from basketball was leaking into every other part of his life, since the game _was_ his life. But now it was killing him. It was killing his relationships, hurting his heart, ruining his life.

So he finally came to a decision. He was going to do what you’re supposed to do when one of your limbs gets infected and starts spreading the disease to the other limbs. He would cut it off. Amputate it.

Aomine turned in his resignation to Wakamatsu, the new captain, the week after they placed second in the Winter Cup, before anyone else had shown up for practice. The blond had been shocked to see Aomine at practice at all, even more so as he registered what the paper in his hands was. Aomine didn’t know if the other boy said anything; if he had, he hadn’t been listening. Instead, he’d kept his eyes down, turning around and walking away, feeling his heart pounding harder and harder with every step he took away from the gym. This is for the best, he kept telling himself, even as he felt his eyes watering. He wiped them brutishly, shoulders slumped low. His hands were shaking so he stuffed them in his pockets. 

“Dai-chan!”

He didn’t want to have this conversation. Not with Satsuki; not with anyone. He tried to sink lower, though his 6’2” frame— _perfect for basketball_ ; he tried to shut that thought out—made that impossible.

“Dai-chan,” Momoi repeated, closer now, right behind him. He stopped moving, though he didn’t turn around. Or, more like couldn’t. He could hear it in her voice. She was a hairsbreadth away from crying and if she started crying he was probably going to start crying too but dammit he was never good with tears and he just wanted to go home and sleep for a week and—

Aomine’s thoughts were interrupted by Momoi’s arms wrapping around his middle from behind. She squeezed him, hiding her face between his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry, Dai-chan,” she murmured, sniffling.

“Dammit, Satsuki,” Aomine grunted. He was shaking, he realized. He was about to shatter. He’d just left the only thing that he’d ever loved with all his soul. He doubted any heartbreak could feel worse than this. Was this really the right decision? He tried to take in a breath, realizing his nose was stopped up. “Fuck,” he groaned, the tears welling up once more, stronger. He was suddenly glad to have Satsuki there to hold him up, otherwise he might have collapsed right there in the middle of the sidewalk.

“We’ll figure something out,” Momoi promised.

“No,” Aomine growled, wiping at his eyes with one hand, the other holding onto one of Momoi’s hands clutching tightly at his shirt. “No, Satsuki. I’m done. I…I can’t play anymore. I just don’t love it. Hell, I don’t even like basketball anymore.” He bowed his head, trembling. “It hurts. Every game, I see the moment they give up. _Every single_ game. And it hurts too much, to realize all over again that I’m waiting for something that’s never going to happen.”

“But Akashi-kun—”

“Doesn’t count,” he cut her off. 

“Tetsu-kun—”

Aomine flinched, sucking in a breath and holding it. Momoi noticed, instantly closing her mouth. Tetsu was a sore subject. Of everyone, him giving up had quite possibly hurt the worst. Him, who had always been the one to tell him someone would come to challenge him someday. Him, who had been his faithful shadow until he’d pushed him away. Another relationship, ruined by his tainted love of basketball.

“Are you sure?” the pinkette asked hesitantly, quietly. Aomine was silent for a long time.

“It hurts to walk away,” he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear. “My chest is killing me. My head is aching. But to stay means to let myself get pulled further in, to get sicker, and…I can’t do that to myself anymore. No matter how much I used to love the game.”

Momoi nodded against his back. “Alright, Dai-chan. If…that’s what you want. I’m with you.”

Aomine cracked a tired smirk, chuckling slightly though his voice broke for a moment. “You’re always with me, Satsuki.”

“I am,” she agreed, letting him go and taking his hand. She smiled up at him as he reached up to wipe her own tears away carefully after roughly swiping down his own cheeks a few times. “So what next, Dai-chan?” she asked, taking his hand and pulling him towards their street.

“I don’t know," he admitted quietly, looking at his feet and trusting the pink-haired girl to lead him the right way. "I've never thought of doing anything other than basketball," he added in an almost whisper, throat closing off.

"I'm sure we'll think of something," Momoi assured him, trying to smile even if it was tinged with sadness. She knew Aomine loved basketball still, but she also knew that the boy before her was nothing like the free-spirited, joyful Dai-chan she’d grown up with. The absence of any real challenge at the one thing he loved had hit the boy hard. Even if he put up a strong front, Momoi knew just how soft Aomine was on the inside and the hopeless looks he got from every opponent he faced on the court was too much for his already aching heart. She would guess Tetsu’s defeat, however, had been the last straw. She internally winced at that. The game against Seiren had been painful to watch.

"Yeah," Aomine responded, nodding and clenching his fist that Momoi wasn't holding, forcing himself to push basketball from his mind. It was time to start a new chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aomine gets to inform his parents of his decision.

Neither Momoi nor Aomine had much more to say as they walked down the sidewalk. 

“Want me to come help you with your homework today?” Momoi finally asked as they stopped in front of her house, Aomine’s being two houses further down. _Want me to be there when you tell your parents?_

“Nah, I’ll handle it,” Aomine sighed. _Thanks, but I’ll manage on my own._

“Alright then. See you tomorrow, Dai-chan!” She smiled, trying to be happy enough for both of them even if it was all fake. Aomine waved over his shoulder casually before heading to his house. Momoi frowned as she watched his shoulders sagging, his feet dragging across the ground reluctantly. She fidgeted, wanting to go and hug him again even though she knew he’d probably be annoyed with it. It was a feeling she’d been fighting since middle school. She scowled then, stomping her foot in annoyance before rushing to catch up to him, wrapping her arms around his waist as tightly as they could go. 

“Satsuki?!” Aomine yelped in surprise, nearly toppling over as she barreled into his back. He stood still, not sure what she was doing as she squeeze his breath from his chest. And then she was gone, rushing just as quickly back towards her house. Aomine looked over his shoulder just in time to see her door closing. He raised a brow in confusion though a barely there smile twitched at his lips. Stupid girl. 

When Aomine walked into his house, calling out a low ‘I’m home’, he wasn’t really sure what to expect. He could hear his mom cooking in the kitchen and he heard the tv on in the living room, knowing his dad was probably there. His mom welcomed him as usual and Aomine felt himself moving even slower than usual to take off his shoes, straightening them uncharacteristically and hanging up his jacket neatly. He took in a deep breath, nervousness fluttering in his stomach. Then he edged towards the living room, hastily looking to the floor as he spotted the pictures hanging on the walls of his Teiko championships. 

His parents were both very understanding people, he thought. They were supportive and Aomine, in his head, doubted they’d yell or anything. But somewhere he felt like his mom might cry or his dad might be disappointed. He remembered when his dad had first introduced him to the sport, how they’d went to a couple games when he’d been younger. How proud his dad had seemed when Teiko had won their first championship. He clenched his eyes shut, stepping hesitantly out of the hallway. 

“Daiki,” his dad spoke, nodding his head in acknowledgment from his chair before looking back at the news on the tv. 

“Hey, dad,” Aomine muttered, feeling himself shaking. He was just standing there, unable to move. He felt his dad looking at him again, raising a brow in question. 

“Something wrong?” he asked, looking unsurprised. “Another bad grade? Or another teacher asking to see us because of you skipping classes?” he guessed, sounding irritated. Aomine knew the man could keep going. It wasn’t like Aomine’s bad behavior was any secret to his parents. He—as well as his parents—had lost count of how many notes and calls they’d received from teachers wanting to discuss Aomine’s behavior in the past couple years. They never did much help, but they still came up sometimes. Aomine felt sick. It hadn’t used to be like this. He hadn’t always been a horrible student. He’d never skipped class and he did okay as far as grades went, even without Satsuki’s help. This was just another way he’d let the sickness of basketball—the sickness of his heart—infiltrate into the other aspects of his life. But even worse wasn’t the grades or his attendance to school. It was how annoyed his dad sounded. How unsurprised. How disappointed. Aomine slumped lower, shrinking under his dad’s eyes. 

“No, nothing like that,” he murmured, refusing to look up at him. He shuffled further into the room, taking the furthest seat from his dad on the couch and staring blankly at the tv. His dad didn’t say anything else. 

“Dinner’s ready!” 

At his mom’s call, he and his dad moved into the kitchen, Aomine following the larger shadow of the other man. His mother reached up and gave his father a peck on the cheek before doing the same to Aomine, making him blush and slide into his seat. 

“Mom,” he whined, making both of his parents chuckle lightly. She ruffled his hair like she used to do when he was shorter, making him duck down lower in his seat, hiding his face with his hands as she went to grab something out of the oven. Aomine couldn’t help his lips as they twitched upwards just slightly before he sobered as he remembered the conversation he was going to have to have with them. 

The beginning conversation at dinner revolved around his father’s day at work, with his mom asking him questions since Aomine wasn’t really into it. He pushed his food around on his plate, not feeling all that hungry. 

“How was your day, Daiki?” His mother turned her questions over to him, making him look up to meet her kind eyes. They might have been the same shade as Aomine’s own, but they were definitely much warmer. 

“It was…” Aomine choked on the word ‘fine.’ _It was catastrophic. It was heartbreaking. It was devastating. It was life-changing. It was necessary._

“It was…?” his father prompted, sounding curious. 

“Well, I, um,” Aomine twitched, looking up at both of them nervously. “I…quit the basketball club,” he admitted quietly, looking down at his plate of cold food. He dropped his chopsticks, staring at the hole he’d formed in the fried rice. “I figured I shouldn’t keep doing something that I don’t even like anymore,” he added, biting his lip. Why weren’t they saying anything? Were they that disappointed? After all, winners never quit, right? He peeked up, expecting to see them either upset or disappointed. 

His mother smiled kindly, reaching over and taking one of his shaking hands. She squeezed it tightly. “If that’s what will make you happy, Daiki, then we will support you.” 

His father nodded, “Of course. I’m sure you’ll find something else you’ll enjoy.” 

Aomine felt his eyes welling and he dropped his head onto the table, pushing his plate away and shaking uncontrollable. He heard a chair scraping against the floor before his mother’s arms were wrapped around him. He shuddered, tears escaping at an alarming rate. He couldn’t stop them. Everything hurt so badly but it felt good to let some of that pain out, to unload some of it to his parents for once. He felt his father’s strong hand drop on his head and he sniffled, feeling like a little kid again. 

“It’s okay, Daiki,” his mother cooed in his ear quietly. 

“But mom,” he whimpered, “it’s _basketball_.” 

Perhaps if she were another’s mother, she wouldn’t understand. She’d scoff, or roll her eyes, and say something like ‘It’s just a game.’ But she wasn’t another’s mom. She was Aomine Daiki’s mother and she knew her son. She knew that basketball was his life, had been his life for so long. Giving up basketball for him was like giving up food or water; it was something he felt was as essential as oxygen. So the fact that he’d decided, on his own, to quit told her more than anything just how much her baby boy had been hurting. She held him tighter. 

“I know, Daiki,” she murmured reassuringly, rocking him gently. She looked up to meet the eyes of her husband, concern on both of their faces. She felt her own eyes well up as her sons shaking sobs continued. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aomine having supportive parents is important to me, okay? I can't hurt my baby boy anymore than he's already hurting. I'll try to start lengthening the chapters, sorry this is so short!


	3. Chapter 3

Aomine stared up at his ceiling, feeling drained. It was late and his parents had already gone to bed, neither of them really bringing up the subject of basketball again after he’d gotten control of himself once more. He felt embarrassed, but also a bit lighter, which he guessed was progress. He wondered idly how the rest of the team had taken his resignation. He frowned, rolling over to hide his face in his pillow. That wasn’t something he should think about. On top of the heartbreak he felt at quitting, he also felt guilty for leaving them with such a hole in their offense. Wakamatsu and the others were probably pissed at him, not that the blond was ever not pissed at him. He couldn’t exactly blame him. He just couldn’t help it though. He didn’t feel any desire to play and he was tired. Just really tired all the time. He shut his eyes. 

_I just need one person. One person who could keep up with me on the court. Maybe they won’t be the best, maybe they won’t even be able to beat me, but as long as they don’t give up, I could accept that. If I could play with someone who loved basketball just as much as I do, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt, no matter who won._

Aomine tried to shut out the thoughts. They weren’t unfamiliar. He’d thought about his imaginary rival too many times. He used to want a challenge, but now he’d be happy with really anyone who had a true love of the game and refused to give up. Even Tetsu, with all his love of basketball, had given up when faced with Aomine’s skill. And that had hurt. A lot. 

Aomine’s dream that night was nothing new. He was playing basketball, dribbling, and he just knew—the way you just know things in dreams—that he was smiling. He felt the wind pressing against his face as he ran. He knew someone else was there too, though he couldn’t see them. He heard them laugh though, a deep happy sound that made Aomine laugh too. Then he was shooting, a formless shot that was unbeatable. But he watched the ball—which was the only thing he could focus on since the rest of the dream was hazy—as it floated towards the goal before being smacked away easily. 

_You’re the best!_ his mouth supplied, followed by another round of him and his dream rival trying to one up one another. 

When Aomine opened his eyes, staring into his pillow, he felt water welling up once more. It was always a dream. A beautiful, amazing, happy, impossible dream. He buried his face in his pillow, trying to get back to it, reaching out with his mind to try and rejoin his rival. _One more time! One more play!_

“Daiki?” 

Aomine gave up, groaning as he slid his eyes open and peeked over his arm to see his mom at the doorway. She walked into the room and sat down on his bed, running a gentle hand across his back. 

“Do you feel like going to school today?” she asked him quietly. Aomine shut his eyes, focusing on his mother’s soft touch and thinking the question over. Honestly, he felt horrible. 

“Not really,” he mumbled into his sheets. 

“Well you can stay home today,” his mom allowed, brushing his hair now with her fingers. “I’ve got a few errands to do so you’ll be here by yourself for a while. I’ll be back a little after lunchtime. I’ll bring you something to eat from town, how about that?” 

“Okay,” he responded drowsily. 

“I’ll tell Satsuki-chan not to worry about you. You just go back to sleep.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before standing and leaving the room, shutting the door softly behind her. 

Aomine eyed the door for a while, just staring at it blankly. He couldn’t even think of what his rival had sounded like. His eyes slid shut. But then, he guessed it didn’t matter, since they were a made-up person anyways. 

\-----break----- 

When Aomine woke, it was the afternoon and he could hear the tv on. Groaning sluggishly, he slid out of bed to his feet, stretching widely before padding out of his room. 

“Mom?” he called. 

“Oh Daiki, you’re awake,” she smiled, “I got you some of those teriyaki burgers from that one place you like. They’re in the fridge.” 

He smiled slightly. “Thanks.” 

He eyed the stack of ten burgers that she’d gotten him, frowning. He only grabbed three, leaving the rest as he went about heating them up in the microwave. Then he brought them into the living room, taking a seat on the couch and munching thoughtfully. 

“That’s all you’re going to eat?” his mother asked, sounding worried. 

“I’m not really hungry,” Aomine admitted, looking down at the burgers and wondering if he’d even be able to finish one. 

“But you haven’t eaten anything all day,” his mom pointed out gently. 

“Guess I just don’t have much of an appetite today,” Aomine shrugged, forcing down one and half of a second before putting the plate on the table and ignoring the rest. He stared blankly at the tv, watching whatever soap opera his mom was into with an empty mind. 

They were quiet for a while and Aomine idly thought about how long it’d been since he’d spent any real time with his mother. He watched her get up, moving into the kitchen to start on dinner so it’d be ready when his dad got home. 

“Hey…mom?” he asked hesitantly. She paused, turning to give him her attention. “Do you…uh, want any help?” 

She instantly brightened. “I’d love that, Daiki,” she shared, and he returned the smile, though it was a bit subdued. Then he lifted himself to his feet, walking in and automatically moving to wash his hands as his mother did the same. 

“So what are you going to make tonight?” he asked curiously. 

“I was thinking something simple, like chanpuru,” she offered. 

“Sounds good,” Aomine nodded, watching her grab ingredients from the fridge and set them on the counter. He took the bundle of carrots without her asking, running them under the sink quickly before fetching the peeler from the drawer. 

“Guess you still remember some of the things I taught you about cooking, huh,” he heard his mother say more than ask. He paused, looking over his shoulder to see that she hadn’t started on the tofu yet and was instead watching him. 

“Of course, why would I have forgotten?” he asked, confused. 

“It’s just been a while since you’ve helped me in the kitchen is all,” she waved off, starting to hum contentedly as she started slicing some of the meat. Aomine went back to peeling the carrots, focusing on the easy motions of his hands and the happy humming of his mother. The atmosphere felt relaxing and he took in a deep breath, finally smiling freely as he started slicing the carrots, humming a bit himself once she switched to a song he knew. 

His mother’s smile brightened, but she didn’t say another word. 

\-----break----- 

“Oi, Satsuki,” Aomine asked a few days later, leaning his chin against his palm as he propped his arm up on table. She looked up for her homework, humming her question. “Why’d you quit being the manager for the basketball club? Just because I quit didn’t mean you had too,” he muttered, looking away. “I know you really enjoyed helping them.” 

“But then who will watch over you, Dai-chan?” she asked. 

“Dammit, Satsuki, I’m not helpless. I can take care of myself,” he grumbled, though he felt a bit better at not having to face this alone. 

She sighed, setting down her pencil. “Well, honestly…I enjoyed it because it meant I got to hang out with you more. We used to do things all the time, but recently the only time I ever see you is if I track you down for skipping practices or at a game.” 

Aomine winced. More proof that he’d been letting the sickness that was basketball spread to other aspects of his life. 

“Oh. Right. Well, you…uh…wanna go…I don’t know, do something this weekend?” he asked hesitantly, not looking up. 

Momoi beamed. “That’d be great, Dai-chan.” 

\-----break----- 

“This was not great, Satsuki!” Aomine growled, stomping down the sidewalk angrily. The pink-haired girl behind him was laughing uncontrollably, rushing to keep up as she grabbed his arm. 

“Come on, Dai-chan! It was a great movie!” 

“You know I hate scary movies,” he hissed, irritated. She’d bought the tickets since he’d paid for their food earlier and she hadn’t let him see what they were for. 

“But it was the only good thing playing,” she tried to reason, still grinning. 

“Next time we’re going to see Attack of the Frogs or something,” he grumbled. 

“Oh shut it, Mr. I’m-Afraid-Of-Bumble-Bees,” she shot right back, smirking victoriously when he groaned. 

“Oh my god, just shut up, you loud woman,” he hissed, dragging his hand down his face overdramatically. 

“Bzzz! Bzzz!” she teased, laughing when he shoved her away (not that roughly). 

“You’re so annoying,” he whined, not looking where he was going and stumbling when he ran into someone. “Oh, sor—” 

“I’m so sorry!” another voice piped up, louder than his own. Aomine’s brows furrowed and he instantly stiffened as the boy in front of him began bowing profusely. “I’m really very sorry! I should have been looking where I was going! I’ll just walk in the street!” he began rambling, moving around Aomine without ever looking up. 

“Oh, hey, Sakurai-kun,” Momoi greeted, waving at the boy. He looked up, surprise on his face. 

“Momoi-san,” he smiled kindly, before finally looking at the person he’d run into. He paled, “Aomine-san! I’m so sorry!” he repeated, bowing again. 

“Would you calm down? It wasn’t a big deal. Besides, I wasn’t paying attention,” Aomine muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away awkwardly. 

“How’ve you been, Sakurai-kun?” Momoi asked politely. The boy finally stopped apologizing. 

“Oh, I’ve been well, thank you,” he answered, “Though Wakamatsu-senpai has been drilling us all a bit harder than usual,” he added, voice getting lower and lower as he spoke as his mind caught up on the reason why that was and that said reason was standing in front of him. “U-um, how have you b-been, Momoi-san?” he managed out, shaking slightly as he prepared for Aomine to get mad at him. 

“I’ve been good,” she responded cheerily. 

“And you, Aomine-san?” Sakurai managed to squeak out nervously. 

“Eh, fine, I guess” Aomine waved off his question, brow furrowed and looking unhappy, looking away. “Sorry about…quitting the team,” he added quietly as an afterthought. “Guess that kind of hurt you guys’ line-up.” 

Sakurai was shocked at the apology, staring at Aomine in surprise, though the other didn’t know since he refused to look at the shorter boy. Sakurai could easily see Aomine’s slumped form, the way he looked like he was trying to hide even though he was so tall. He frowned thoughtfully. That wasn’t…very Aomine-ish. 

“Well, that’s true,” he relented, since there was really no denying that losing Aomine’s skills on the team was going to hurt them, “but that doesn’t mean we’re making any excuses. We’re practicing very hard so we can beat Rakuzan this year,” he smiled hesitantly. 

Aomine scoffed, though he did appreciate the attempt to lessen his guilt. He had always like Sakurai the best from the team. 

Sakurai bit his tongue, both wondering why Aomine quit but also knowing it wasn’t his place to ask. Besides, after playing with him on the team for a year, he could make a guess. 

The boy jumped when his pocket started making noise, scrambling to dig his phone out and answer it. “Oh, I’m sorry! I’m late! I’m really sorry!” He called into the phone almost immediately after the person started talking. “I’ll be there soon!” he hung up just a few moments later, instantly bowing to Momoi and Aomine. “I’m sorry but I need to go now. It was really good seeing you both! And I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly!” he added, waving and smiling friendly as he started jogging down the sidewalk. 

Momoi looked over at Aomine from the corner of her eye as they started back down the sidewalk, wondering how the interaction with one of his old teammates had gone over. He seemed troubled, brow furrowed. 

“They aren’t going to beat Akashi,” he finally muttered, looking down as his feet. 

“It’s not your fault. You’re taking care of yourself,” Momoi instantly countered, readying to give him an entire lecture on why it was more important for him to do what was good for himself than for him to force himself to keep hurting himself to make other people happy. It didn’t seem like something Aomine would do if you didn’t know him all that well, but she knew that beyond the façade of arrogance and indifference that Aomine-kun had put on was the heart of Dai-chan who just wanted to be happy and wanted other people to be happy. And for Dai-chan, basketball would always equate to happiness. 

“Am I really though, Satsuki?” he asked quietly, sounding lost. 

“Do you still feel tired all the time?” she asked just as quietly. “Are you still not enjoying anything?” 

“No,” he answered, frowning. “I…I cooked with mom the other day for the first time in forever. And I can have a conversation with dad without him yelling at me,” he added, sounding relieved. “But now, I just,” he hesitated, hand reaching up and grabbing at his chest. “I miss it.” 

“That makes sense though,” she reassured. “It doesn’t mean you’ve made a bad decision. If anything, it means you’re healing.” 

“I just want things to go back to the way they used to be,” he sighed, sounding defeated. “I wish I’d never picked up a damn basketball,” he added spitefully, kicking at the ground. 

“Dai-chan,” Momoi murmured, reaching out to touch his arm, flinching when he jerked his arm away. 

“I’m going to go for a walk,” he told her, stopping. Momoi was surprised to see they’d made it all the way home without her noticing. “Tell mom I’ll be back in a while.” 

She hesitated. “Okay then,” she finally relented, moving slowly into her house. When she turned around, he was already turning the corner. “It’s kind of late though,” she whispered to the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving a bit slowly, but they are moving. Aomine needs to heal a bit. I don't really like the idea of someone becoming dependent on someone else for their happiness, and I really don't want Aomine to become dependent on Kagami. Don't worry, things'll pick up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami gets his entrance.

Kagami rolled his shoulders tiredly, exhaling after another rough practice. Coach didn’t cut corners any more than Alex did; every muscle in his body was screaming for rest. He was glad the weekend was coming up. Just one more day. 

Honestly, he was getting sort of used to this though. He’d been a bit nervous about transferring, but he was relearning his native language and everyone had been pretty understanding about that. Plus, their basketball team wasn’t bad. That was another reason he hadn’t been sure about this decision, but so far he hadn’t had any regrets. If anything, he was pleasantly surprised. Seiren had already went against one of the so-called ‘Generation of Miracles’ and it’d been an absolutely amazing game. And it’d only been a practice game! Plus Kuroko said there was even four more! He couldn’t wait to play against them. 

He kind of wished he hadn’t listened to his dad and that he’d moved back last year at the start of high school; then he could have had an extra year against them. Still, he couldn’t say he had wasted the year, since Alex had taught him quite a few new tricks in that time. He wondered if he would have been as big of a contender last year if he hadn’t learned them, but he wasn’t really sure, especially since he’d only faced one of them. Plus, he wouldn’t say a practice match necessarily counted. 

Kuroko had spent the week telling him about each of the Miracles though. Kagami had soaked in everything. They sounded almost like a fairytale. A guy who could make full-court three-pointers? And what was with the guy who could practically read your mind? He nearly vibrated at the thought of facing such strong opponents. He was jittery, excited. Especially when Kuroko had mentioned the one who played his position: Aomine Daiki. 

He didn’t know what it was, but that name struck a chord within him. He wanted to know more about this player with formless shots and unrivaled agility. All he had to do was ask to get a couple game tapes from Coach and then he’d be able to see what kind of basketball Aomine Daiki played. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine kicked at the ground, shuffling along with his hands in his pockets. It was well after school had ended, but he didn’t feel like going home. Momoi had tried to drag him…somewhere, but he’d managed to evade her and set out on his own. It wasn’t even that hard to avoid her anymore. And it wasn’t that abnormal for him to be on his own either. 

He sighed, looking up and trying to determine where he was. His mind had wandered as he’d walked, going into a sort of autopilot. He frowned, noting the people around him, a few of them casting annoyed looks his way as they were forced to walk around his immobile form. 

Noting he was in a busier part of town, he started walking again, paying more attention as he headed in the vague direction of home. He might stop to grab something to eat first, who knew? He didn’t really feel hungry though, even though he hadn’t eaten much all day. He touched his stomach over his shirt gingerly, feeling the familiar press of muscles honed for basket— 

He shook himself away from that, yawning. So he hadn’t had much of an appetite lately. Big deal. He’d always eaten more than normal anyways, so maybe he was finally getting into the normal range. He felt fine enough, if a bit tired, but he was always tired. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d truly felt awake. It was almost like he was wandering through his life like a robot, not thinking, just doing the bare minimum to get by. 

_What’s wrong with me?_

\-----break----- 

Kagami gaped, watching the player on the screen weaving through defenders like they weren’t even there. He moved flawlessly, not a single twitch wasted. Kagami couldn’t focus on any other player, seeing shot after shot swishing perfectly despite the near-impossible nature of each. Had he just made a shot from behind the goal? Kagami’s foot bounced, his eyes brighted, his fingers twitched. He wanted to play against him, the Ace of the Generation of Miracles: Aomine Daiki. 

After seeing his competition, Kagami knew he had to step up his game. 

He was going to practice full-throttle, starting tomorrow. But Aomine played like he’d learned on the streets, the unorthodox movements reminding Kagami of some of the people he’d faced in L.A., so he was going to have to practice on the street courts too. He couldn’t help the grin that crossed his mouth. He couldn’t wait to play Aomine. 

The only thing that had unsettled the redhead on the tapes was Aomine’s expression. Kuroko had said Aomine was the one who used to love basketball more than any of the Miracles. Kagami hadn’t really understood that wording until now. 

Aomine looked bored, yawning between plays and seemingly barely putting in any effort. For all his amazing moves and shots, he couldn’t care less. His speed—which was truly more than what any of the other players could handle—almost seemed sluggish. The only animation Kagami could find in his features was when he faced against other Miracles, but even those ended with lackluster results. Kagami was almost willing to bet he was looking for a challenge, and yet when he’d gone against Rakuzan (the only match Touou had lost to last year, though it’d been close) he’d still seemed bored, if not annoyed since Rakuzan’s tactic was simply to keep the ball away from him. Kagami had frowned; he didn’t like tricks in basketball. He just wanted to play. _When_ he beat Aomine, it was going to be because he was better, not because he’d kept the other from getting the ball. 

Still, he had a while to go before they faced Touou. Apparently Shutoku was in their division, which had another Miracle. And it’d be awhile before they faced them as well. Kagami was confident though. He was ready for anything! 

\-----break----- 

Aomine collapsed on a nearby bench just a few blocks short of his house, holding his head in his hands. He felt himself shaking, tried to stop it but failed. He could feel something welling up in his chest. He leaned his head lower, almost folding himself in half as he tried to hide his face between his knees. He heard something high pitched in his ear, an annoying whimpering-like sound that he wished would go away. He wished everything would go away. His chest was aching, not unlike when he was on the court and his opponents gave up, but stronger. 

“Dai-chan!” 

Satsuki. That was Satsuki’s voice. But she sounded so far away, almost like he was hearing her call him from underwater. 

“Dai-chan!” she repeated, sounding out of breath. She sounded a bit closer. 

Aomine couldn’t concentrate. He felt like he was spinning, almost floating. He just wanted the noise to stop. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted everything to stop. 

_“Daiki! Breathe!”_

Aomine gasped, sucking in a deep breath. His eyes flew open and he stared down at the cement below him. He was shaking, sucking in trembling breathes. He felt Satsuki rubbing his back, sitting next to him. 

“Oh thank god,” she murmured lowly, before wrapping her arms around him. “Just keep breathing, Dai-chan,” she whispered, petting his hair. Aomine wanted to tell her to quit, that it was annoying, that he didn’t need her to baby him…but it felt nice. He focused on the labored breaths of the girl next to him and it was a lot easier to catch his own breath. 

“I’m okay now,” he said, pulling away slightly and sitting up straighter. Momoi’s worried face came into view then. He looked away, wiping his face off with his sleeve. 

“Dai-chan,” she began quietly. “What happened?” 

“I…I don’t know,” Aomine answered, biting his lip but wincing. He tasted iron in his mouth. He must have bitten it during the attack on accident. “I just…I don’t know.” 

She frowned but didn’t push him. Her smaller hands wrapped around his arm, almost like she felt he was going to disappear at any moment. Aomine wanted to tease her about it, but honestly it felt like she was the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment. 

“Do you think you can walk?” she asked finally. Aomine nodded and stood. He was a bit shaky, but he could manage. All he wanted to do was get home and go to sleep. He felt so drained. 

Momoi walked with him, shooting him worried glances. Her nails dug into the skin of her palms as she fought the urge to hold onto his arm. She had been headed to the store for her mom when she’d spotted Aomine all curled up on the bench and she hadn’t been sure what had happened. Him having a panic attack—which was what she was pretty sure had happened—was not anything that should just be brushed off, which she was sure Aomine would do. She would tell his parents, after seeing him safely home of course. 

\-----break----- 

“So we’ve heard some news,” Coach began, calling them into a huddle after practice Friday. “There’s been a change in Touou’s line-up.” 

Kagami was instantly at attention, along with everyone else. Touou was Aomine’s school. Honestly, though, from what he’d seen on the tapes he doubted it’d matter much who they put on the court alongside Aomine. The guy never passed, though he was practically an unstoppable force himself so he didn’t necessarily need to. 

“What kind of change?” Koganei asked, curious. 

“Aomine Daiki quit the team,” Coach announced. 

Kagami’s eyes nearly bugged out of his face, alongside almost everyone else’s. Okay, he hadn’t been ready for that. 

“What?!” he nearly roared, outraged. What did this guy think he was doing, backing out before he’d even had the chance to challenge him? Like hell was he getting off that easy! Kagami was going to beat every single one of the Miracles, _especially_ Aomine. His hands clenched into fists angrily. 

“Such a good kouhai, getting angry on behalf of his senpai,” Hyuuga growled, reaching up to ruffle Kagami’s hair roughly, calming him down somewhat. “But are you sure?” he asked, turning to Riko. She nodded, frowning. 

“Yes, he quit a few weeks ago. No one knows why.” 

Kagami’s eyes shifted down to where Kuroko was standing frozen, eyes wide in surprise and…sadness? He had a feeling someone knew why or at least had a good idea. 

“Then that should make it easier to beat Touou, right? They don’t have an ace now. And this year we do,” Fukada stated hesitantly. 

“Touou is a strong team even without Aomine. But that’s true, they will be a bit more manageable without him,” Riko thought aloud. 

“The nerve of that kouhai, quitting after beating us last year. Now we can’t even get our revenge,” Hyuuga muttered. 

“Ah, don’t worry so much, Hyuuga. We’ll still be able to have fun~” Kiyoshi practically sang, earning him a glower for the glass-wearing boy. 

Kagami had tuned them out however, mind swirling around the fact that he wasn’t going to get to go against the Ace of the Miracles. The boy with impossible shots and quick movements and that absolutely stunning play. The one who never smiled while on the court, but who used to love basketball more than anyone. The one that Kagami suddenly realized he’d wanted to make enjoy basketball once more. His hands shook with rage. Now that wasn’t going to happen. Because Aomine had _quit._ He felt a growl welling up in the back of his throat. No. He wasn’t accepting this. He was going to get Aomine to play him. He _had_ to get the chance to play the other boy at some point. He just had to! 

“Kagami-kun.” 

Kagami jolted, surprised when he suddenly found Kuroko directly in front of him. His eyes were back to normal, if not still tinged with a bit of sadness. Everyone else was gone. 

“Where’d everyone go?” 

“Practice is over. They’re in the locker room changing. I volunteered us to clean up,” Kuroko stated simply. Kagami nodded, already moving to help collect the balls while Kuroko went to grab two brooms. 

“Kagami-kun. You’re very angry over the fact that Aomine-kun quit,” Kuroko pointed out after a few minutes, both of them walking side by side as they swept the floor. 

“Well yeah, of course I’m mad. I want to be the very best, but right now _he’s_ the best. How can I prove myself if he won’t even play me?” the redhead grumbled. 

“I’m sure Aomine-kun has his reasons for quitting,” Kuroko excused, his voice very quiet. Kagami paused, looking down at the melancholy boy for a few moments. 

“You two have some history, huh?” He noted aloud, earning a slight nod from Kuroko. 

“I will tell you what happened,” Kuroko murmured, both of them finishing up the gym before grabbing their bags. They walked slowly to Maji Burger as Kuroko began weaving his tale of Teiki and the Miracles. Kagami listened with disbelief tinged with anger. Their opponents just _gave up_? In the middle of the games? He didn’t care what the score was, you don’t just give up half-way through a game! And then that bastard Aomine started skipping practice?! Who would even allow that? Kagami grumbled to himself unhappily as he went to get their food, treating Kuroko since the other boy had decided to share such a personal story. When he returned, he set the two vanilla milkshakes in front of the other before chomping angrily into his first burger. This entire situation was pissing him off so much. 

Aomine had some of the most impressive play he’d ever seen and he could only imagine how it’d seem if he was having fun while playing. And to think all this was going down the drain because of some half-wits just giving up on playing him…he felt anger coursing through him once more. He was going to go against Aomine and he didn’t care what happened or who won: he wouldn’t give up, that was for damn sure! 

But how was he supposed to get to the other to play? Sure, Touou was also in Tokyo, but Tokyo was quite a huge city. Plus, Aomine wasn’t on the team anymore, which meant he wouldn’t be involved in any of the games. Kagami groaned, devouring his tenth burger and grabbing for another automatically. 

“Kagami-kun still looks angry,” Kuroko noted, startling Kagami who’d forgotten he was even there (and now he felt bad about it). 

“Ah, sorry. Just kind of pissed about that whole situation. I’ve watched a few tapes and Aomine’s play is really just amazing. I hate to think he quit and I’m never going to get to go against him,” the redhead admitted after swallowing down his bite of food. “I guess the best thing to do for now is keep going as we’re going. Maybe if we do better than Touou did in the tournament last year then he’ll play a one-on-one with me or something.” 

“That’s possible,” Kuroko relented, a slight smile working its way on his features. He couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Kagami had come to Japan the year prior, if he would have been in time to help Aomine before he quit. But then, he guessed ‘what if’s didn’t have much merit. 

“I’ll make him play me,” Kagami vowed before quickly scarfing down his seventeenth and final cheeseburger. “He’s not going to get away from me that easily. I’m going to beat him.” 

Kuroko smiled from behind his milkshake, watching his current light’s eyes brightening as his mind conjured up some game against Aomine. He was really glad the redhead was here now. Maybe he’d finally be able to help his lost light. 

He felt horrible for how he’d reacted last year and, truly, the lost had been devastating. He’d never faced the true horror of Aomine’s strength before last year; the boy had really been like a monster, shutting Seiren down single-handedly. It was scarring almost, but the worst part was when he thought about how he’d given up too. Despite all his efforts to maintain moral for his team and to keep fighting, in his heart he’d given up. He was ashamed to admit it, let alone to have to face Aomine once more. He’d hurt the boy, he knew. He would like to think that that wasn’t the reason why Aomine quit, but he couldn’t help but feel it had been a strong factor. He’d never given up on Aomine before, and yet in that moment, looking at a tripled score and the apathetic eyes of an unstoppable monster, Kuroko had given up. He’d failed to bring Aomine the challenge he’d so wanted to give the other boy. Aomine had walked off the court with his shoulders and heart no lighter; if anything, they’d been heavier, burdened by the knowledge that Kuroko had given up on beating him as well. 

The pale boy shook the thoughts away, instead focusing on the burning rage-filled boy in front of him. He, too, could claim the title monster if he wanted; Kuroko had found himself thinking this often enough. Kagami was stronger than he realized sometimes and he was nearly unstoppable himself. Not to mention his jumping ability or some of the other ‘secrets’ he’d mentioned when Coach as asked. He truly was Seiren’s Ace and, for the first time, Kuroko honestly and truly felt they could beat Touou with Aomine on their team. And the fact that they weren’t going to get their chance—that he was too late, that Aomine had given up on him, that he didn’t _believe_ in him anymore—disappointed him. 

“I look forward to seeing that match, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko responded honestly, wondering if perhaps then he’d get to see Aomine play with a smile once more. 

Kagami grunted, both of the boys standing and heading out the door. He wordlessly raised his fist. Kuroko’s felt a trace of a smile cross his features as he returned the first bump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it was pointed out that just because this story kind of focuses on Aomine, it doesn't mean Kagami's entrance had to wait until after everything was solved for Aomine. And I agree, so I chose this chapter to be Kagami's, mostly. 
> 
> Note that this fic will follow canon happenings very loosely (mainly, I mean that the games will occur is the same order they occurred before), with some differences, the main one being it's a year later, of course. Also, Kiyoshi will be on the team, since he took a year off for the therapy instead of rushing back to play just for the Winter Cup the year prior.
> 
> I just want to thank everyone for being so supportive and all the lovely comments you've been leaving. I really really appreciate them! Tackling such serious subject matter is new for me so please, any comment is helpful for me to grow as a writer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aomine learns of Kagami's existence.

The Miracles had never particularly been close. Okay, that might not be right. That first year in middle school, they had been getting close. Aomine had had more fun that year than all his other years playing basketball combined. He’d pranked Kise and Midorima fairly often, hung out with Tetsu, napped with Murasakibara—the guy had even shared his snacks a few times—and even Akashi had smiled sometimes and had fun, getting in on pranks or letting practice games between themselves get a little lax. 

But then he’d changed, and Murasakibara had changed, and Akashi changed, and Midorima shut down, and Kise dulled, and Tetsu left, and Satsuki cried. 

Middle school sucked. 

So while he had expected some sort of contact once news got around that he’d quit the team, he wasn’t imagining any big fanfare. After all, they’d had their showdown last year, they knew their rankings among themselves. Aomine had beaten all but Akashi. 

(Which, really it’d been Akashi plus his team that had beaten Aomine, not Akashi himself, but he doubted the emperor would admit that; he almost wanted to challenge the redhead to a one-on-one just to see who was really the best once and for all, especially since Akashi’s Emperor Eye didn’t work on him like everyone else. He played formlessly, after all, and Emperor Eye worked by seeing through the opponent’s form. It wouldn’t be worth the danger of getting on Akashi’s bad side just to test that theory, however.) 

_‘Virgo’s have particularly bad luck today. Your lucky item is a stuffed tiger. Your horoscope says it’s the worst part of the year for you, but that things will get better before the New Year.’_

_‘Mine-chin quit? Do you need candy?’_

_‘Daiki. Satsuki has not mentioned if you are unwell. Get better.’_

Aomine stared at his phone, honestly a bit confused. He’d expected contact, expected questions, maybe even demands for him to get back on the team so they could have a rematch. He hadn’t expected nice. Or whatever weird, awkward versions of nice those three were capable of. And then Kise…well. 

_‘Aominecchi! Is it true?’_

_‘Are you okay?’_

_‘I haven’t heard from you in a while. Do you want to meet up?’_

_‘Do you want to talk about it?’_

_‘Or we could do something to distract you, if you want. Movie? Food?’_

_‘Bowling?’_

_‘Coffee?’_

_‘Aominecchi?’_

_‘Don’t ignore me!’_

_‘So mean-ssu!’_

Aomine was used to ignoring Kise’s many many texts. So it wasn’t the sheer amount of them that had his thumbs hovering on the keyboard, considering replying; it was the last message: 

_‘Hey, I just want to make sure you’re okay. We’re friends. I’m worried about you.’_

Kise was…worried about him? He considered them friends? Aomine had never really had a problem with Kise—other than him being a bit too whiny sometimes—but he’d figured after everything that had happened—especially after the Kaijou vs. Touou match the previous year, that’d been a bit tougher than he’d like to admit—that anything between them had been cut. 

_‘I’m fine. I just don’t feel like playing anymore.’_

He pressed ‘SEND’ before he could think about it too much. About how that wasn’t quite right. He did want to play. He still wanted to play. He just wanted to play against someone who wouldn’t give up, someone who might even be able to beat him, someone who didn’t exist and he was tired was waiting for. He dropped his phone on the floor by his bed and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow and going to sleep. 

\-----break----- 

When Aomine was walking home from school a few days later, Satsuki jabbering beside him about something, he was surprised to get a text. 

_‘Aominecchi!’_

Aomine just stared at the text. Okay…Kise was weird, but sending someone a text with nothing but their name was a new level. A few seconds of confusion later though, he got an alert of a picture message. He pulled it up, trying to figure out what he was seeing. 

A photo shoot? Yes, that was very clearly a set-up for one of Kise’s photoshoots. Why would Kise send him a picture of that? Wait. There was a familiar-looking woman in the picture, smiling, hand flirtatiously brushing a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, formfitting dress hugging her curves and accenting her huge— _holy shit, Kise had taken a picture of Mai-chan!_

_Where the hell was he that he was in the same place as Mai-chan?!?_

_‘Photo shoot across the street from cat café. She’s here for the next hour. Can you make it?’_ the following text said. 

Aomine almost snorted at the idea of him missing an opportunity like this but that would have wasted even more time. 

_‘Be there in fifteen.’_ It was technically a thirty minute walk to the place in question, but Aomine was a fast runner. 

“Hey, I’m going to meet up with Kise. You okay?” Aomine asked Satsuki quickly, pocketing his phone. The girl paused, looking up at him in surprise. She smiled happily at the animatedly look of Aomine’s features as he clearly got excited about whatever Kise had text him. 

“Of course. Have fun!” she called after him as he rushed off. She pulled out her own phone. 

_‘I don’t know what you offered him, but he looked excited.’_ She informed him, expecting a response back quickly and she wasn’t disappointed. Kise was a notoriously quick texter. 

_‘I’m glad! I’ve been trying to get him to hang out with me for a week now.’_

She smiled. Kise was a good friend, even if Aomine was too stubborn to admit it. They’d had some difficulties, but she knew the blond wasn’t going to give up that easily. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine sighed dreamily, sitting across from Kise at a table in the small coffee shop, autographed picture book in his bag. He’d never been happier that he brought it practically everywhere with him, including school. 

“I can’t believe I just met Mai-chan. And she gave me a hug!” He grinned dopily while Kise rolled his eyes, chuckling. “You’re awesome, man,” he told Kise, meaning it surprisingly. Maybe he shouldn’t have blew the other off as many times as he had in the past. 

“Of course!” Kise beamed, just about the time the girl walked over with their orders. She instantly turned red, nearly fainting as she set their cups on the table with shaking hands before rushing back behind the counter. 

Blowing at his coffee, Aomine considered the blonde sitting across from him carefully. If Aomine knew about anyone, it was himself. And he knew that in order for a person to stay friends with him for any long amount of time, they had to be very very stubborn and endlessly patient to deal with all his shit. 

“So I’m guessing you want to know why I quit,” he decided to just rip the band-aid off. He sighed, feeling the familiar ache in his chest and ignoring it, something he had plenty of practice in. Only it had been getting harder and harder to ignore lately. 

Kise’s face grew serious as the topic change and he sipped his coffee, studying Aomine for a moment. Aomine fought the urge to fidget under that gaze. 

“Only if you want to tell me, Aominecchi,” Kise finally spoke, setting down his coffee. “Besides, I’m pretty sure I can guess why.” 

Aomine grumbled under his breath about nosy miracles who think they know everything. God, they all thought they had him figured out, didn’t they? Was that why they’d acted the way they had? 

“I mostly just want to know how you’re doing,” Kise added, and his serious face softened a bit as he offered a small smile. It was more genuine than his flippant, model smiles so Aomine didn’t feel too much of an urge to punch him. 

“I’m fine,” Aomine growled, defensive. 

Kise looked unconvinced, raising a brow. Aomine deflated. 

“Okay, I’m not fine,” he corrected, voice quiet. His eyes fell to the cup of coffee warming his hands. Damn him for only having pushy, know-it-all friends. “I…I didn’t know what else to do,” he finally admitted. “Kind of a damned if I do, damned if I don’t situation.” 

“You know, we’ve all been training this past year,” Kise spoke up. 

“Just you guys isn’t enough,” Aomine shook his head. “I don’t know what it is. I just— I can’t— I—” Aomine bit his cheek, worrying the skin between his teeth until he tasted iron and stopped. Then he sipped at his coffee. He hadn’t even had this conversation with Satsuki yet, god. 

“You just need a rival. A true rival, not one of us,” Kise spoke up, finishing Aomine’s thoughts without much difficulty. Aomine felt the urge to punch him once more, even if he wasn’t wrong. He hated being dissected by Kise’s ‘special eyes’, dammit. 

They needed to change the topic. 

“How’s the season going?” There. It was still basketball—and very obviously an attempt to change the topic—but Kise just hummed, apparently not intending to push right now. Good. 

“In general or for me specifically?” Kise asked, the corner of his mouth twitching in teasing smirk. Aomine glared. The blonde shrugged, leaning forward and cutting the tension that had formed. “Alright, fine. It’s okay for all of us, I guess. Nothing’s changed too much other than I can hold Perfect Copy for longer. Oh, and Midorimacchi’s stamina is up.” The he paused, like he’d just remembered something but he wasn’t sure if he should share it or not. 

“What?” Aomine pressed. 

“Well…” Kise hesitated. “Akashicchi’s the same, basically. Murasakibaracchi too. But, uh…Kurokocchi…well, Seiren really. They’ve got a new player,” he finished. 

Aomine raised a brow, bored already. “So?” 

“He helped them beat us at a practice match,” Kise added. 

Aomine shrugged. “Practice match. Big deal.” 

“He also helped them beat Midorimacchi last weekend.” 

Aomine paused then, ignoring the twinge in his chest that said that might be a big deal. 

“He and Kurokocchi make a pretty good team,” Kise spoke, almost like the words were forced from his mouth. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he should go on. Aomine waited, knowing he’d spill. “He called him his ‘new light’.” 

Aomine felt like he’d been punched in the gut. ‘New light’? _New_ light? So he’d been replaced so easily then. His heart thumped heavily, his chest feeling tight. But after what he’d done last year, did he even still have the right to be upset? Of all of the matches last year, the one against Tetsu had hurt the worse. Aomine doubted Tetsu even considered him his friend anymore. And now he was an old model, just to be upgraded for this ‘new light’. Aomine shook his head in disbelief. No, even if this guy did have the title of ‘light’, it couldn’t have been an upgrade because no one was better at basketball than him. The only one who could beat him was himself. His chest ached at that thought and he lifted a hand to rub over his heart, trying to ease the pain a bit. 

“Whatever,” Aomine finally managed to push the word through his teeth. His mouth tasted like ashes. “He’ll probably lose to Murasakibara or Akashi. Or even you in a real game. Midorima probably just got too cocky.” Those words felt wrong, though. Of all of them, Midorima would never be that cocky. He practiced almost as much as Akashi and did all he could the win, even if it was more a formality than any actual belief that he could lose. 

“Seiren has a match against Touou next week,” Kise spoke. 

“Not my problem,” Aomine waved off, forcing himself to not get his hopes up. So some guy had beaten Midorima. That was no big deal. That didn’t mean he was special. Didn’t mean he could beat Aomine. He wasn’t getting his hopes up on an impossibility. 

Kise shrugged. “I was just thinking about going to watch. Thought I’d extend the offer if you wanted to come with.” 

“I don’t.” He didn’t. He didn’t want to face the disappointment. The fact that Kise didn’t push him on it meant he might understand a lot more than Aomine was comfortable thinking about for too long. 

He needed new friends. 

\-----break----- 

Kagami dribbled the ball easily on the street, reminding himself not to jump to try and give his legs some recovery time. The match against Shutoku had ended with their win, but it hadn’t been an easy match and he’d pushed it a bit. He was supposed to stay off the court until further notice from the coach but he couldn’t just do nothing. 

His mind was on the Touou match coming up. He knew they were a good team, but that they’d undoubtedly be hurting thanks to Aomine quitting. And god, if that didn’t continue to piss him off. He couldn’t even watch the game videos with the team because he’d get so angry. Aomine was just so amazing on the court; Kagami was dying to go against him. He’d never felt so compelled to go against any particular person before, but he knew any game against Aomine would be one of the most difficult, most fun games he’d ever play. He just knew it. Aomine was nearly impossible to defend against with his formless style and was so quick, he doubted it’d be easy to score on him either. 

Kagami groaned loudly, throwing the ball at the basket angrily. Why’d he have to quit? Why couldn’t he have just been a bit more patient? Then Kagami could have been excited about their match this Friday instead of pissed off because he was going to go against a team that wouldn’t be at their absolutely best, wouldn’t have their ace. And then Kagami could have beaten Aomine and showed him that not everyone was a complete pushover and then maybe they could have become friends or something and they could play one-on-ones all the time. 

He didn’t even know if he was going to be able to get Aomine to play him ever. What if the guy really was done for good? What if, even if Seiren beat Rakuzan, Aomine still refused to play him? Kagami would never know if he could beat him or not. He’d never really get to see that amazing play for himself. 

Kagami went over to collect the wayward basketball, mind swirling with anger and determination. He had to get Aomine to play him, somehow. 

\-----break----- 

“Um, Kagami? You…okay?” 

Kagami huffed, wiping at his brow and looking over at Koganei-senpai. “I’m great. Never been better.” 

“Yeah, we can see that,” Hyuuga muttered, eyeing him seriously. 

“Kagami-kun should calm down. It’s only the second quarter,” Kuroko spoke up, frowning. 

“I am calm,” Kagami argued, looking down at the shadow. “I’m just playing the game. And we’re winning; what’s wrong?” 

They all shared a look, which Kagami didn’t get. They were winning, by nearly ten points. What were they complaining about? 

Kuroko was silently chosen as the spokesperson, as he seemed to get through to the hothead more often. 

“You seem…angry,” was how he chose to start, which might have been an understatement. The aura the redhead had been giving off ever since stepping onto the court was nothing short of lethal. His typical intensity was cranked up the ten, and Touou moved warily around him. Even his own team was a bit unsure. It wasn’t like he was hogging the ball or being unsportsmanlike; none of them could really pinpoint exactly what the problem was, which was why it’d taken this long for them to mention it at all, but something was very clearly off about the redhead. 

“I’m just playing the game,” Kagami shrugged, eyes distractedly moving to the stands, scanning the audience slowly. Everything clicked for Kuroko. 

“I don’t think Aomine-kun is here,” he spoke, surprising all of the other members. Kagami shuffled his feet, not meeting Kuroko’s gaze. 

“I wasn’t looking for him,” he denied. 

“You’re trying to impress him so he’ll play you,” Kuroko realized. Which, that sort of made sense, he supposed, so he wouldn’t blame the redhead too much. Still… “But Aomine-kun doesn’t think much of his teammates and thus defeating them won’t sway him enough to play you. You’ll have to defeat the other miracles in order to get his attention, most likely.” 

“I’ve already defeated Midorima,” Kagami pointed out, looking almost like he was pouting. He wasn’t patient, alright? And he wanted to play Aomine now. 

“Once will not be enough to get Aomine to play you, not if he’s already decided not to play anymore,” Kuroko refuted. “You’ll have to beat Murasakibara-kun at least, since it was difficult even for Aomine-kun to score on him. Possibly even Akashi-kun, if he’s really determined.” 

Kagami frowned, growling a low sound of annoyance under his breath. Seiren wouldn’t go against Rakuzan until the Winter Cup, and only if they win all their matches in the Interhigh. It was still spring. 

“Aomine’s not our opponent right now,” Kiyoshi reminded him, placing a hand on the redhead’s shoulder and drawing his attention back to the game at hand. “It would be rude to our opponents if we underestimated them and didn’t give them our full attention.” 

Kagami sighed, easing some of the tension in his body and trying to tone it down. His team was right. There was no need to get worked up about an opponent they weren’t even facing. 

“Alright!” Kiyoshi sang, seeing the tension leaving Kagami’s body. “Now let’s go have some fun~” 

“Seiren, fight!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this makes up for the lengthy absence. And thank you so much for all the kind comments! It really keeps me motivated and I love hearing what you guys enjoy specifically; helps me know what I need to work on and what's successful. This is the first time I've written a story like this, after all. 
> 
> Also, I don't think you all realize how difficult it is for me to write Kise. Like, I headcanon him and Aomine's relationship as more like an younger/older brother thing, but I've had some bad experiences with AoKise shippers that have really kinda of ruined how I look at Kise. Which sucks, because he's not a bad character. I like Kise individually, just any time he's in a scene with Aomine it really 'grinds my gears', so to speak. I'm trying my best to work past that, however. 
> 
> Happy AoKaga Month~


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami learns a bit more about the situation, and Aomine's friends help turn his bad day into something more tolerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *IMPORTANT!!!* 
> 
> Okay so I can't decide how to do the matches Touou faced after beating Seiren in spring but with Seiren winning. SO. I've decided to make an executive decision for the sake of continuing and Americanize this a little bit. I apologize, but ultimately it's what I'm more familiar with.
> 
> So here's what's going to go down: we're gonna say Touou, Kaijou, Shutoku, and Seiren are all in the same 'district', if you will, since they're all close together (aren't they all in Tokyo?) as opposed to Yousen and Rakuzan, which are further away. So we'll say the district competition is in spring (in which case, Seiren's already won by beating Touou) and the big overall championship is the Winter Cup. I hope that's alright with everyone; I just really needed to make a decision in order to keep going and this was what I came up with. 
> 
> ***unbeta-ed

He didn't care. He didn't care at all. Not in the least. Not even a little tiny miniscule... 

Okay, maybe he was a little curious. 

"So, um..." 

Aomine cut himself off, glancing away once Satsuki turned her attention to him, silently prompting him to continue as she sucked on the straw for her shake. For just a blink, Aomine saw light blue eyes in the place of pink, with the same attentive gaze leveled on him. His chest tightened. 

"What's up, Dai-chan?" Momoi asked, finally setting the shake down and giving him her undivided attention. 

"So you, uh...How did the game go?" He rushed out before biting his lip to keep from babbling. He didn't care. He didn’t, he didn’t, he didn’t hedidnt _hedidnt_ **hedid—**

Satsuki's pause made him stop his internal rant and really study her. She had looked down for just a second, but not with sadness over another lost cause for him. She was...Was that a smile? 

"Okay, tell me," he ordered. His heart was pounding like it hadn't in a long time. 

"Seiren won. 117 to 72." 

Aomine's eyes widened slightly. Sure, Touou wasn't on par with any of the miracles, but they weren't a shit team. And to win by such a big margin... 

Momoi was openly smiling now, watching Aomine's mind race, his eyes brightening just slightly with hope. She knew he would try with all his might to push it down, to deny it, but she had faith in Tetsuya. And that was why she chose to continue: 

"His name is Kagami Taiga. He's a returnee from America." 

Aomine didn't want...okay, maybe he did want to hear that. A returnee? America was the birthplace of basketball. If this guy had learned there… 

Kagami Taiga. He might just try to remember that name. 

\-----break----- 

"So I've been thinking. What you told me about what happened between you and Aomine wasn't the whole story, was it?" 

Kuroko turned to watch Kagami placidly as the redhead took a seat on the bleachers next to him. 

"What would bring you to that conclusion?" Kuroko finally spoke, voice even. 

Kagami shrugged. "Cause you sometimes mention all the other Miracles like you've been talking to them, but you never mention Aomine. And if you stayed in contact with all of them when they pulled basically the same shit, then this Aomine must've pulled a real dick move beyond what the others did." 

Kuroko turned to look out at the empty court, the two of them just having finished cleaning after practice so it was quiet. His shoulders seem to deflate a bit, and Kagami wondered if he'd been too insensitive. Again. 

"Aomine-kun and I haven't spoken in a long time," Kuroko admitted just as Kagami opened his mouth to apologize. Kagami's mouth snapped shut to let Kuroko continue. "Before...In the first year of Teiko, Aomine-kun was the one who loved basketball the most. He practiced much more than any other player, which perhaps is why his talent bloomed before the others. He was..." Kuroko hesitated, which surprised Kagami. He'd never heard Kuroko sound so...sad. "Aomine-kun was the one who encouraged me to continue playing and trying find my way of basketball when I wanted to give up." He paused again, a bit more contemplative as his eyes glanced to the side to study Kagami. "Actually, in that first year, he was very much like you, Kagami-kun." 

"And he just gave up because he couldn't get a good game?" Kagami asked, sounding slighted. 

"I don't think that was the only reason," Kuroko shook his head slowly. "Aomine-kun tried to keep his spirits up. He was certain that someone would eventually come along that would match him. I tried my best to be there for him as he had for me but I...I didn’t know what to do. And then as every one of the others grew more and more talented, they began competing against each other instead of their opponents. Seeing who could score the most points in a game or fixing the score to whatever they chose. Once, after..." Kuroko paused again, but this time Kagami could hear the emotion clogging his throat. He frowned, leaning a bit closer. "Aomine-kun got mad at another player during practice and ran out. Coach went to see him. But instead of disciplining him, he told Aomine-kun he didn't have to come to practice if he didn't want to. That was when he stopped practicing. He didn't want to get any better, since he was already unbeatable. I...I went after him as well...but..." 

Kagami shuffled closer, not sure what to do but knowing he had to do something as he heard Kuroko's voice break. He leaned against the other boy, offering his silent support. Since he usually botched up his attempts at verbally communicating, it was the best he could do. Kuroko continued after collecting himself. 

"My basketball centers on teamwork, Kagami-kun, as you well know. But Teiko was moving further and further away from using teamwork. And that day...Aomine-kun told me not to pass to him anymore. That he didn't need me to win. That he wasn't even sure he knew how to catch my passes anymore." Kuroko was looking down and he sniffed, wiping his eyes roughly. Kagami looked out over the court, giving him a moment. "A shadow is nothing without a light," he whispered so low Kagami almost didn't hear it. Then he looked up, meeting Kagami's concerned gaze. "But more than that, Aomine-kun was my best friend. I just want to see him play with a smile again." He smiled softly then. "And I think you could do it. I think you could make Aomine-kun love basketball again." 

\-----break----- 

Aomine stared at the ceiling as he lay on his bed, eyes half-lidded. It wasn’t even a week into summer and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d never realize before just how much of his free time was taken up by basketball even when he never officially practiced. This time last year he’d have been hitting the street courts while avoiding Satsuki’s attempts to get him to join Touou’s summer training regimen. 

He closed his eyes completely, focusing on his breathing. He pulled in one long breath, holding it for a count of four before exhaling slowly. He continued that routine for a few moments, just feeling his chest expanding and contracting. He felt…empty. Like nothing. Almost like he could evaporate right off his sheets and just not exist anymore. Not particularly a new feeling, but he’d yet to come up with a cure for it. 

Today wasn’t one of his good days. 

As he began to process that thought, he felt himself spiraling. He didn’t like this feeling, but he didn’t know how to stop it. His eyes were tingling, water welling up, no matter how hard he clenched his eyes shut. Was this never going to end? He thought these sorts of days would be gone after he’d left the source of the problem. 

He’d thought basketball was the source of the problem. 

“Dai-chan!” 

Aomine groaned, flopping his arm over his face like that was going to hide him. Satsuki was way too upbeat for how drained he felt. He wasn’t sure if he was glad she had interrupted his mood, or if he was annoyed because he didn’t have the energy to put up with her perkiness today. 

“Dai-chan,” she repeated, finally stepping into his room and beaming, even if he didn’t see it. Her smile fell though when she really took him in. “Dai-chan!” she repeated again, now sounding distressed. 

“What do you want? Why do you keeping repeating my name?” Aomine groaned, rolling away to turn his back to her. 

“It’s four in the afternoon! Why are you still in bed?” 

“Didn’t feel like getting up,” Aomine grumbled. 

“You’re still in your PJs!” she threw back, moving to his dresser and digging through a drawer for some clean clothes. 

“Didn’t have a reason to get dressed,” he responded. 

“Well now you do. We’re going out,” she informed him, dropping a dark pair of pants and a black undershirt on the bed beside him before going to rummage through his closet for the white sweater she knew he had. 

“We are?” Aomine asked, sighing heavily before pulling himself up lethargically. 

“Yes. Ki-chan called me and the three of us plus Midorin are going to karaoke.” 

“Kise and Midorima?” he asked, surprised. “Don’t they have basketball training?” 

“Kaijou’s summer training doesn’t start until late next week, and Shutoku is leaving the morning after tomorrow. Ki-chan wanted to get together and do something before they all left.” 

Aomine stared at the clothes she’d picked out for a minute, brow furrowed in thought. 

“Which means,” she continued after he remained motionless, “that you need to get dressed. We’re meeting them at the studio in an hour.” 

“Kise planned this?” Aomine asked finally. 

“Well yes. I told you he was the one who called me,” Momoi answered, confused as to why he wasn’t moving faster. 

“Is…anyone else going?” Aomine managed to ask, voice quiet. 

Momoi paused for a second and really looked at Aomine. His eyes looked tired and maybe even a bit red-rimmed, and he was avoiding her gaze, staring down at the floor. He wasn’t moving very quickly and just seemed very drained. Looking at the state he was in, she was almost willing to bet that she could push him over if she so much as nudged him with her finger. 

“Ki-chan didn’t mention anyone else,” she finally answered. She considered that questioned for a moment, before understanding hit her. Kuroko. 

“Oh,” was all the acknowledgment she got from that. Aomine shut his eyes for a moment, seeming to collect himself, before nodding slightly and moving to clutch the edge of his bed. He sniffed noisily, trying to nonchalantly wipe his face with his shoulder. 

Momoi moved unsurely, taking a seat next to Aomine on the bed and leaning against him slightly. They both stared down at his hands before he leaned forward and put his forearms on his legs, sighing. 

“We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to. We could stay in and watch the action movie you mentioned wanting to see,” she offered tentatively. 

“No…No, I’ll go,” Aomine shook his head, trying to shake himself out of it. “I need to get out of this house, anyways,” he added under his breath, finally standing to his feet. He reached up to pull off his shirt as she moved to wait outside the room, throwing his back one last concerned look before leaving. 

“Auntie,” she called, as she stepped into the living room. She returned the smile the woman gave to her. “I’m taking Dai-chan out to karaoke. A couple of our friends wanted to get together before they headed off to their summer basketball camps.” 

“That sounds like fun,” the woman stated. “And it’ll be good for Daiki to get out. He hasn’t left this house since school ended, except for the one time I got him to go shopping with me.” She frowned, her worry echoed on Momoi’s face. “I just don’t know what to do, Satsuki-chan,” she added lowly. “I’m worried about him.” 

“I am too,” Momoi admitted. She heard Aomine’s footsteps in the hall and she turned back on her smile. “Thanks, Auntie! We won’t be out too late.” She then grabbed Aomine’s wrist, wanting to get him into the fresh air as soon as possible. After all, school had been out for five days and if he hadn’t left the house but once since then… 

“Bye, mom,” Aomine called out in a lazy drawl, letting Momoi pull him without offering too much of a complaint. He shook his head, taking in a deep breath as they stepped outside. He had to wake himself up, let himself climb out of this mood. Maybe some socializing instead of sitting alone was what he needed. 

\-----break----- 

“Ki-chan! Midorin!” Momoi shouted as they neared the duo standing outside the studio. She skipped ahead to greet them, Aomine walking more calmly behind her. 

“Yo,” he acknowledged. 

“Aomine,” Midorima nodded. 

“Aominecchi!” Kise shouted, flinging himself at the blue-haired teen in his typical overdramatic fashion. Aomine sidestepped his attempt at barreling into him and rolled his eyes as a slight smirk made its way onto his face. 

“I got us the room for two hours,” Kise stated in a more calm voice, throwing his arm around Aomine’s shoulder. Aomine put on a show of trying to shrug him off, but he found himself not completely against the contact. He’d felt the same impulse when Satsuki had leaned against him earlier, the urge to reciprocate the touch, the desire to just let someone else hold him together for a bit. It was surprisingly sort of nice to be surrounded by the weirdos he called friends. As Midorima walked past him—Kise finally moving to talk excitedly with Momoi—the green-haired teen nudged his arm against Aomine’s. 

“Virgo’s are fifth in rank today,” he began, fixing his glasses, “though they’re listed first for Saturday. Your lucky item today is a folding fan.” He reached into his pocket and awkwardly offered Aomine a black and white folding fan. Aomine stared down at it in surprise—blinking once, twice—before taking it gingerly. Midorima pointedly didn’t watch him as he did so, staring straight ahead. “Oha Asa suggests that today you avoid being by yourself for long periods of time,” he added, voice slowly losing volume until he was speaking so quietly Aomine knew he was the only other person with a hope of hearing him. The green-haired teen paused, eyes glancing over at Aomine. “If…” He cleared her throat. “If you ever need anything…” he trailed off. 

“Yeah, I’ll let you know,” Aomine answered gruffly, looking down at his feet. Satsuki looking out for him was a given; Kise caring he could even understand, since the guy had always had a sort of hero-worship thing or something towards him. But Midorima? The guy had always been a bit standoffish, and Aomine had never gotten the feeling that the other teen had ever really liked him. And yet here he was, offering Aomine help in the only way he could manage—through horoscopes, lucky items, and half-sentences. 

“So I called Kurokocchi and Kagamicchi, but their coach is still making them go to practice,” Kise was telling Momoi, who promptly shushed him, looking back at Aomine pointedly. Kise glanced at Aomine as well, seeing him talking with Midorima, and turned back to Momoi, raising a brow in question. 

“I don’t think he’s ready to see Tetsu-kun,” Momoi murmured lowly. “He asked if he was going to be here.” 

“Oh,” Kise responded, eyes widening before he nodded in understanding. “Right. Last year,” he stated, voice tinged with sadness. 

“Last year,” Momoi confirmed, sighing. 

“Has quitting really helped?” Kise asked quietly as they walked down the hall towards the rented room. “You know…is he happier?” 

“I…don’t really know,” she admitted, biting her lip for a moment before turning on her beaming smile and calling out to the two stragglers. “Come on Dai-chan, Midorin! Last one to the room sings the first song!” 

There was an immediate response, the two boys’ eyes widening before they took off for the room, competition driving them. Kise laughed, joining in on the race more for fun than actual worry about having to sing first. Momoi laughed as well, running behind them and hating both the fact that they were all so athletic and that she wasn’t wearing a sports bra. 

(The boys let her win anyways. Or more, Aomine tripped Midorima and Midorima grabbed his shirt and he fell and Kise tumbled after them, leaving Momoi to waltz into the room unscathed.) 

(Midorima ended up singing the first song.)

\-----break----- 

Coming home after karaoke, Aomine was surprised to find that he’d had a fairly good time. He laughed as Momoi continued singing as they walked down the sidewalk towards their houses. He even joined in on the ones he knew, which lead to them getting strange looks, not that either of them particularly cared at the moment. Momoi grinned with genuine happiness as she spotted the delighted smirk on Aomine’s face. She’d count the day a success if it meant she’d managed to get his mind off everything that was dragging him down, even if only for a little while. 

When they got to her house, she turned before walking up to the door, wrapping her arms around his waist before he could react. 

“Thanks for coming, Dai-chan.” She squeezed him slightly tighter for a second before pulling away and turning for the door. 

“Hey, Satsuki!” he called just as she reached the door. She turned to give him her attention. “Thank you,” he managed to get out, just loud enough for her to hear, choking on the rest of the words he wanted to say. 

_Thank you for not giving up on me._

Satsuki revealed a soft smile. She always understood him, even the words he couldn’t say. She nodded before heading inside. Aomine then walked the couple of houses over to his own home. 

“Mom, I’m home,” he called out as he slipped inside, toeing off his shoes. 

“Welcome back, Daiki,” his mother called from the kitchen. So his dad was working late then. 

Aomine moved towards the kitchen, watching his mother move about preparing dinner, when the urge he’d been feeling all day suddenly hit him like a truck. His chest tightened, and he couldn’t say if it was the hopelessness of the never-ending spiral down after every time he managed to get up or if it was the sheer joy at realizing just how much his friends cared about him, even after how shitty a friend he’d been in the past couple years. But for whatever reason, his eyes were prickling and his throat was constricting. 

“Mom,” he called out, biting his lip behind whatever emotion was trying to get out. She turned at the sound of his voice, immediately going into Mom Mode at the look on her only child’s face. She flipped off the heat on the stove and moved to wrap Daiki up in her arms. He clutched at her in desperation, hiding his face in her shoulder and choking back tears. 

“It’s going to be okay, baby,” she murmured, rocking him gently side to side while one hand brushed up and down his back. She had to stand on her tip-toes to truly wrap herself around him, but she could deal with the leg cramp later. Daiki was more important. 

“I just don’t get it,” Daiki spoke, trying to get himself under control. His frame still had little tremors running through it, despite his best efforts. “I thought it was basketball. I thought that was why I was like this. Why can’t I just be normal? I quit. I gave it up. I stopped being one of the damn Miracles. I just…I just want…” He cut himself off, choked up with emotion, sniffling. “What did I do?” he finally whispered, hands trembling as his fingers twisted into his mother’s shirt. “I just want to play basketball,” he finished, voice so low his mom could barely hear him. She held him tighter, pressing a kiss to his temple and fighting back her own sobs. How had her baby gone this long in this much pain and she’d never seen it? She had tears trailing down her face as she tried to help Daiki get control of his own. 

“You didn’t do anything, baby,” she promised him vehemently. “This isn’t your fault.” He sniffed again, not responding, before finally pulling away, wiping as his face roughly. “This isn’t your fault,” she repeated, forcing him to look her dead in the eye. Then she did her best to smile, brushing away a stray tear from his face gently before combing her fingers through his short hair. “And we’re going to work together to help you feel better, okay? Me, you, your father, and your friends. We all love and care about you, Daiki. Please don’t ever doubt that.” 

“I’m beginning to see that,” he mumbled, eyes flickering down. He looked up and gave her a mild grin, the best he could do at the moment. “Can I go get washed up now, before dad gets home? I think I’ve experienced enough emotions today.” 

She laughed, ruffling his hair and making him duck his head to get away. She smiled as she heard his laughter bubble up as well, even if it was a bit wet sounding. It would take a lot of work and patience, but Daiki was going to get better. She was going to make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So maybe worth the wait? I don't know, those extra matches kind of tripped me up for a while.
> 
> I'm keeping with the slow build, but things are coming together. Kagami's learning more about the situation, Aomine's slowly reconnecting with his friends, and now Kagami is on his radar as well. 
> 
> (Also, I just had to add that last scene. It wasn't in the original chapter I wrote, but I just love people being supported in their battles against mental illness in fanfiction by people other than their intended love interest. Yes, this is going to end up being an AoKaga fic and yes Kagami is going to do what he can to help, but Kagami is not going to be the only person that cares for Daiki, dammit. I just really like adding screenshots of Aomine's life that the mange/anime didn't really go into, like his family life.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I’m sorry if I skip stuff from canon sometimes (I think I might have already talked about this? Maybe?), but there are some scenes I just don’t feel like drudging through because I don’t feel like they’d add anything different to the story. The training camps in particular is something I had a bit of trouble with—that was actually why it took me so long to get out this next chapter—because I wasn’t totally sure if I needed to change anything of just leave it the same. There was a few things I was going to do to change it, but ultimately I decided that they weren’t very natural sounding so now it’s mostly the same. 
> 
> I warn you that this is unbeta-ed.
> 
> (Also, because my humor is stupid, notice that the chapter summary is the name of the Ms. Pac-man level where she meets Mr. Pac-man. Yeah, I used to be obsessed with that game. I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to say for a summary, so that got to be it.)

Kuroko sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at his phone. His fingers softly traced the indentures, mind racing. He needed to do this. He knew he had to do something. 

He flipped open his phone, forcing himself through his contacts. He hovered over the one he really wanted to call, though. He sighed, ashamed of his own cowardice. 

_Aomine-kun was my best friend…I didn’t know what to do…_

_I still don't know what to do,_ he thought. 

He bit his lip at the memories yesterday’s conversation with Kagami had evoked. Aomine really had been his best friend. He hated that they’d fallen out so and that there was nothing he could think to do to help Aomine smile again. More than that though, he was ashamed that he’d given up. After everything at Teiko, after Aomine pushing him away, after facing his true strength…Kuroko Tetsuya had given up. And even if it was only for a minute, for a second, he could never take that back, could never heal the wounds he knew that had caused in Aomine’s heart. 

He flipped his phone shut, throwing it to the head of his bed and wiping away the wetness in his eyes. 

Maybe tomorrow. 

\-----break----- 

After their win in the Interhigh, it meant they had a definite spot for the Winter Cup. Not that that meant they could slack in their summer training. Coach was making sure they stayed in their top form over the break, scheduling two separate training camps. They were starting at the beach, and then later in the summer they were going to head into the mountains. Alex had been far from a lax coach, but her training usually involved throwing him to the wolves at the street court in L.A. Kagami had never had the chance to train in such different places. He was excited. 

Of course, that was before he found out who they were sharing their camp with. 

“Shutoku?!” 

Having to share the only gym at the motel with Shutoku was a bit of an irritant, not that Riko didn’t take advantage of this to make them work even harder while on the beach. 

“Come on, guys! Let’s get this together before sundown!” She commanded, eyes taking in their forms and searching for weaknesses. 

“Alright!” Coach called for their attention. “I worked it out with Shutoku’s coach for us to have a practice match with them this evening. Winner gets the gym tomorrow.” 

“Well that should be easy, since we already won once,” Kawahara stated, looking relieved at the prospect of not having to be in the sun all day tomorrow. 

“Don’t be so sure,” Koganei corrected. 

“That first match, we caught Shutoku off guard. No teams had any information on Kagami yet, so no one knew what to expect from him. But now Midorima will be extra focused in order to beat him,” Coach added. Then she smirked, tilted her head to the side playfully. “Besides, Kagami isn’t going to be playing in the beginning of the match, so you guys will have to take up the slack.” 

“What?! I’m not playing?!” Kagami yelled, slighted. 

“I want you to run to the store down the beach and get drinks for everyone,” she informed him. “But I’d hate for you to drop any of them, so only bring one at a time,” she added as an afterthought. 

“One at a…Do you realize how many people are here?!” Kagami growled. “I wouldn’t be able to play at all!” 

“Then you better run faster,” she shrugged. 

Kagami grumbled under his breath but started down the beach anyways, hoping to finish this quickly. 

He didn’t finish it quickly. 

He hissed in annoyance as he took the bag of drinks and shoved it towards Riko after she’d opened her room door. 

“Here. Might as well keep them for tomorrow’s practice, since everyone’s already done,” he grumbled. 

Riko frowned before sighing. “I know you’re unhappy with not being able to play,” she began. “But you have to remember: Shutoku is still one of our strongest opponents, and you’re our best weapon against them. Your jumping is the natural enemy to Midorima’s threes. But even more than that, you have a few secret moves that we still need to keep the Miracles from finding out about for as long as possible. What do you think is going to happen if you get pulled into a practice match and show off to Midorima?” 

Kagami scratched his head in confusion, a bit thrown at the talk of strategy. “Uh…I’ll win?” 

“Bakagami!” she shouted, smacking him on top of the head. He jerked away, rubbing at his head with a pout on his face. “Firstly, Shutoku would be able to come up with a strategy to beat you easier. And beyond that, he could let the other Miracles know so they could prepare for their matches against us as well.” She sighed wearily. “I know you think only in terms of beating the strongest, but a little strategy goes a long way. Don’t go advertising your entire arsenal of moves.” 

Kagami frowned in thought before nodding reluctantly. “Okay,” he muttered. “I’ll keep it in check.” 

Riko nodded once. “Good. Then that way you can play in the second half of tomorrow’s game. But you’ll still be running laps for the first half.” 

“What? Why?! I said I wasn’t going to show off!” Kagami shouted. 

“Because your stamina is pretty strong thanks to how much you played in L.A., but you need to maintain that during the slower season so your legs will be able to handle the strain the matches in the Winter Cup are going to bring.” Then she smirked. “Plus, the rest of the guys need to learn not to just rely on you. We’re a team, so we’re only as strong as our weakest player. They need to get stronger too. Now get going! You still need a shower and lights out is in twenty!” 

\-----break----- 

Kagami bounced the ball idly on the court, looking up at the basket before shooting casually. The training camp ended up being pretty successful, even though Seiren hadn’t managed to beat Shutoku in any of the practice matches. Kagami had kept his word on not showing out, however, so Riko had kept her word and let him play in the second half of every game. It was enough that they didn’t get stomped at least. But now Kagami could tell, they were a stronger team as a whole. The beach training had really helped their balance as well as their teamwork. He couldn’t wait to see what the camp in the mountains would involve. 

He fetched the ball and headed to mid-court, heart pumping faster. He could see his faceless opponent before him as he dribbled low. He faked a spin, jerking back and reversing the movement before his imaginary opponent could snatch the ball from him. He rushed down the court, pulling a full stop before sliding over to the free throw line. His feet gripped the cement through his shoes, posture enhanced thanks to days of running on the beach. He found himself flying through the air, over his opponents head. He grinned brightly, slamming the ball into the basket and landing on his feet smoothly. Sometimes it almost felt like he could fly, as long as the ball was in his hands. As he went to pick it up, twirling the worn leather in his hands, he felt a lightness in his chest and he didn’t even try to stop the stupid smile that was surely on his face. He could honestly think of nothing he loved doing more than playing basketball. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine sighed, walking down the sidewalk tiredly. He’d woken up early this morning, still exhausted but unable to get back to sleep. He’d ended up staring up at the ceiling, watching his room grow brighter as the sun rose higher, until he simply had to move. He got dressed and left before lunchtime, leaving a note for his mother on the table. He had thought about calling Satsuki, but he’d already taken up a lot of her summer time already. He wanted to give her a chance to do something with some of her others friends without him tagging along. The girl had been painstakingly seeing to it that he didn’t waste away into nothing, forcing him to go out and do something most days. It was good, he supposed, that he wasn’t lying around every day like he wanted to. And usually once he got out the door, he’d feel a bit lighter, the social involvement never being as bad as he thought it was going to be when he was just thinking about it while at home. That didn’t make gathering up the energy to go out any easier, though. 

He sighed, steps slowing to a drag as he tried to force himself to keep moving. God, it was so weird for him to think about how active he used to be, staying hours after the normal practice just so he could feel that orange leather under his fingertips for a little longer. He looked down at his hands, rough with calluses from playing. His body, even after weeks of not practicing and not having his normal appetite, was still basketball ready. He could feel it in his muscles, in his bones, down to his soul. The urge to find a ball, to get on a court, to stare down an opponent with determination. He could still hear the squeak of shoes against the court, smell the leather and sweat of a good game, feel the ache of muscles being well-worn. 

But just like that, it all vanished, leaving him standing on the sidewalk in the middle of the afternoon, no basketball shoes, no court, no opponent. He felt the emptiness in his chest twinge and he sighed at the familiar feeling, picking up his feet to keep moving. _I’ve completely forgotten the feeling of having fun with basketball,_ he realized somberly, looking down at the sidewalk beneath him. Even if he could draw up memories of every little thing about the sport, he couldn’t remember what it felt like to truly enjoy playing it. He knew he had, knew he’d once loved the sport with everything he had, but even trying to recall a time when he’d had fun on the court only hit him with a wall of such longing and despair that he dared not touch it. 

_Why am I not getting any better?_ he thought bitterly. _Basketball was the problem, so I got rid of it. After you amputate a limb, sure, it always feels off, but you get better. You learn to adapt. So why the hell aren’t I adapting?_

He let out a yell of frustration, not caring if anyone heard him, before kicking at the chain-link fence in front of him. He grabbed at it, letting his hands hold him up as he hung his head defeat. He didn’t understand. He thought he’d made the right choice. What had he done to deserve this? To fall in love with something so completely only to have it slowly deteriorate before his eyes, with him unable to do anything about it? Basketball was his everything. It was his life, his oxygen, his _soul._ He just didn’t understand, what else was there that he could do? He’d tried playing with all his strength; that had just made it worse. He’d tried playing half-heartedly; that hadn’t felt much better. And now he’d tried just giving it up and he still couldn’t find peace. 

_Why?_ he thought, opening his eyes to stare at the ground. _I just want to play. That’s all. I just want to play basketball again. I just need someone who loves it as much as I do, someone who will play me no matter who wins. Someone who won’t give up, who won’t be afraid of me going all out. Someone…anyone…_

He sighed, berating himself for his idiotic wishes, wiping at his face roughly to clear away any wetness that might have spilled over from his eyes. He’d just have to accept that this was his life now. Endless boredom, endless heartache, and there was nothing he could do about it. His fingers clenched in the fence tightly and he felt himself grin bitterly, shaking his head and laughing to himself without humor. A light, Tetsu used to call him. Ha. All he ever saw anymore when he looked to basketball was just an empty, lonely darkness. If he had been a light, he’d gone out a long time ago. 

Aomine was startled out of his thoughts by a sound so familiar it vibrated through his entire being. His head lifted up in shock, surprised and yet not when he realized his feet had brought him to the street court without him meaning to. He couldn’t force his eyes away from the orange ball the guy on the court was dribbling, feeling his heart beat with every meeting of the ball and cement. His hands shook, a desire like something he hadn’t felt in a long time welling up inside him. Oh, how he wanted to _play!_

Kagami shuffled past another invisible opponent, breath getting faster with anticipation as he neared the goal. He rushed forward, jumping high slamming it into the basket, just because he could. Anyone who said dunks weren’t cool didn’t know what they were talking about. 

Breathing just slightly faster than normal, he turned to jog over to fetch the ball, pausing when he noticed the guy leaning up against the fence, watching. His eyes were glued to the ball with a look of wistful longing, and Kagami was hard-pressed to come up with why he looked familiar. 

“Hey,” he called out, scooping up the ball before turning to give the guy his full attention. “You want to play?” 

Aomine stiffened as the guy acknowledged him, finally pulling his eyes away from the ball long enough to take in the other. He looked to be about his age with red hair bright atop his head before it faded into black below. His split eyebrows— _what the hell?_ —furrowed the longer it took him to speak, irritation slowly becoming the dominant emotion on his face. 

Kagami couldn’t help the feeling that he knew this guy, but the fence was making it difficult to take in his features. It didn’t help that the guy was just staring at him, completely ignoring his offer quite rudely. He scowled. 

“Oi, do you want to play or not?” he demanded gruffly, basketball sitting under his arm and against his hip. 

_Do you want to play or not?_

Of course he wanted to play! It was basketball! Aomine felt his feet shifting, a long-forgotten excitement beginning to pump through his veins, starting from his toes until his whole bode was nearly vibrating with a need to get onto the court. He felt more alert and awake than he had in weeks. He took in a deep breath, lungs expanding, fingers twitching, eyes brightening. 

“Yes,” he answered, like a man accepting water after traveling through the desert. “Yes, I want to play.” 

“Then come on,” the redhead called, heading back to mid-court while Aomine jogged around the fence to get in. Closer now, he could see as the other’s eyes widened in shock and he stumbled in dribbling, staring at Aomine with something akin to wonder. 

Kagami felt his breath catch, his heart pounding harder than before. His fingers were trembling as a rush of excitement shuddered through him. He’d found him. 

“Aomine Daiki,” he spoke, voice shocked. Who would have thought he’d run into a guy who’d quit playing basketball on a street court? 

_Aomine-kun was the one who loved basketball the most,_ he remembered Kuroko's words. _I guess it's hard to give up something you love that much._

Aomine paused, suddenly on-guard as the other stated his name like he knew him. 

“Do I know you?” he asked, fear nearly clogging his throat. What if this was someone he’d played before? What if they didn’t want to play now? He couldn’t recall anyone with eyes as bright as the boy’s in front of him, but he couldn’t be sure. The games had started blurring together after Teiko’s second win. 

The other boy smirked, however, grabbing at the ball. His eyes flared with an intensity Aomine couldn’t remember ever feeling from an opponent. 

“No, not yet you don’t,” the redhead stated confidently, “but you’re going to.” 

Aomine raised a brow curiously, but didn’t question, stepping up to stand opposite the other. He wasn’t sure what was going on, if perhaps his lengthy absence had done something, but he felt eager, ready to start the one-on-one. He felt like he had been sitting at the bottom of the pool and now he’d just gotten the motivation to swim upwards, towards a small spark of light. 

The other checked the ball towards him, letting him have first ball. Aomine’s fingers brushed against the surface, the rough texture nearly burning his skin with the jolt of electricity he could feel in his bones. He dribbled once, the sound creating shockwaves in his ear. He looked forward, taking in his opponent. All his mind processed was the game. The sound of their shoes grabbing traction on the court’s surface, the ball bouncing, the even breaths of both him and his opponent. Red eyes watched him carefully, bright with an innate instinct that Aomine could easily identify. It brought his own into play, welling up after being locked down for so long. Aomine could almost hear a roar as he let the beast go, wanting to play with all his heart, feeling as if he was coming home. His eyes sparked like lightning. 

Aomine blinked as he realized he’d scored already, landing after his dunk with his heart already stinging. He could see the fear, the hopelessness already without even turning around. This always happened when he played with his all. He hadn’t exactly meant to go into the Zone for a one-on-one—especially not within the first few seconds—but that’s what had happened. He sighed, turning. 

Kagami stared in wonder, surprise and awe on his face as Aomine turned back to see him. “Woah,” he exhaled, heart picking up speed in his chest. “That was…what even was that?” he asked, excitement welling up from inside him. 

“Ah, just got a little worked-up, I guess,” Aomine mumbled, rubbing the back of his head and looking away, feeling his face heat up and hoping his darker skin would hide it. He’d never met someone who’d been _excited_ to face him in the Zone. 

Kagami grinned, moving quickly to grab the ball before heading to mid-court for his turn. Aomine crouched defensively in front of him, body lax and comfortable. He didn’t try so hard to fight down his inner instinct this time, letting his reactions come naturally. The redhead pulled a crossover before jerking back only millimeters away from Aomine’s fingers, twisting around and gaining a few more feet’s distance before jumping high. Aomine jumped as well, though it was his turn to be surprised as the other seemed to float above him. The ball sunk into the basket with a clean swish. Kagami smirked. 

Well then. Aomine felt himself return the look, fetching the ball as their one-on-one continued. 

The redhead was good. He was very good. He was quick with his reactions and good with defense, but his true weapon was his power jumps, the ones that could send him soaring over Aomine. Aomine loved it, having to use his more complicated moves to score, his formless shots not quite as unstoppable as they usually were. 

They didn’t exchange words, both panting harshly as the game continued, the score long since forgotten. All that mattered was who scored the next point. Aomine didn’t go back into the Zone, but he still felt the pleasant burn of a work-out, his lungs needing more and more oxygen. Sweat was covering his body and his legs were killing him from not being properly conditioned and now having him jump so much to try and block those impossible shots the redhead made, but it was all okay. Everything was okay. No, everything was perfect. Aomine felt like laughing, his lips curling into a grin with every shot of his that was blocked or every score the other landed. 

They both startled when sound erupted from the bleachers where Aomine had placed his phone. The blue-haired teen jogged over to answer it, flicking it open. 

“Hello?” he panted out, watching the other dribbling the ball as he waited for them to be able to continue. 

“Daiki? Where are you?” his mother’s worried voice answered immediately. He frowned, pulling the phone away from his head to check the time. His eyes widened in shock, realizing they’d been playing for almost two hours. 

“Sorry, mom,” he apologized. “I guess I got a little distracted. I’ll be home in a bit.” He had to reassure her that he was safe and everything was fine before she’d actually hang up. Then he turned to the other, startled to see he’d come to the bleachers himself and was closer than before. He reached for his towel, wiping at the sweat on his neck before looking over at Aomine and smirking. 

“We should play again,” he stated. 

“Of course.” Aomine couldn’t get his agreement out fast enough. Like hell was he letting the redhead go now; he’d just found him! 

“Cool,” he grinned, fishing his own phone out of his bag before offering it to Aomine. “Why don’t you put your number in? I can text you mine.” 

Aomine was already moving to type in his name, feeling exhilaration at every pant of breath he had to take, still a bit winded from the match. He was pleased to see the other was also breathing faster than normal, accepting his phone and typing in a quick text once Aomine had returned it. Aomine felt his phone chirp with the text but he didn’t look yet. 

“You busy later this week?” Aomine asked, already wanting to set something else up. He felt desperation welling up now that the redhead was leaving, fear creeping up his throat. This wasn’t a dream, right? He was real. He had to be real. 

“Not really. We could do something Thursday or Friday,” he shrugged. “Let me know which works better for you,” he called, waving. “I’ll see you later, Aomine!” 

“Yeah, later!” Aomine called, before he frowned in thought. Had he seriously not even gotten the redhead’s name? 

He checked his phone, moving to open the text to save the new number when he paused, staring wide-eyed at the kanji written in the message. 

_Kagami Taiga._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve had a strike of inspiration and I’ve got so many scenes worked out, so hopefully updates can come faster now that I’m past the rut of the training camps. 
> 
> And please let me just say, I so so so appreciate all of you guys. The comments you all write me bring me to tears some nights, and any time I’m having trouble writing a new scene I’ll go back and reread them just to remember all you guys actually like what I’m writing. It gives me motivation to keep going, so seriously, thank you. I love each and every one of you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter than normal, but I just couldn’t break this one up. Be prepared for lots of emotions. I know ‘technically’ Kagami and Aomine met last chapter, but since they didn’t talk much for that first match, I suppose I could consider this their first real meeting. (Here’s where Aomine meets our favorite fiery redhead as he really is: an angry-eyebrowed, socially-awkward basketball-idiot.)
> 
> Just a warning: the language does get a bit...rougher in this chapter.

Aomine stood motionless, staring at the kanji in disbelief. 

_Kagami Taiga._

There was no way…What were the chances of there being another basketball player by the same name in Tokyo though? Especially if you narrowed it down to someone who might have the ability to beat him. But it couldn’t have been… 

He looked up, eyes staring in the direction the redhead had disappeared. 

_Kurokocchi…well, Seiren really. They’ve got a new player…_

_It doesn’t matter_ , he’d told himself. 

_He helped them beat us at a practice match…_

_It’s just a practice match,_ he’d denied. 

_He also helped them beat Midorimacchi…_

_Midorima had an off day. Maybe his sign was low or something and he’d been thrown off his game,_ he’d rationalized. 

Aomine felt like he was going to be sick. 

He dropped on the bleachers heavily, sucking in a deep breath through his nose and shutting his eyes tight, trying to block out the world. Trying to block out his thoughts. 

_Deep breaths…Calm down…_ He told himself, repeating what Satsuki had told him to do last time. She was smart, she knew what to do. Aomine could feel himself shaking. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. It was stupid to play again. God, he was so stupid! Basketball always did this. He’d feel good and then he’d fall so fast it was like someone had shoved him off a cliff. His felt himself losing control, this time being aware of it but still knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

He curled in on himself, hands grasping the edge of the bleachers so desperately. 

He could still see him, feel the rush of the game. The brightness of his eyes, the wildness in his aura. Kagami was a natural prodigy himself, Aomine could tell. His jumps would let him soar over anyone. But more than that, Aomine could feel his love for the game just by standing opposite of him on the court. He had such a strong passion it left Aomine grasping in vain at that part of himself, wanting to meet passion for passion and yet unable to quite find the proper thread. 

_He and Kurokocchi make a pretty good team…He called him his ‘new light’…_

Aomine couldn’t breathe. He could see pale blue, shocked eyes on a devastated face. He could feel the rain falling on him, feel himself shaking just as much as he had then. He felt his heart pounding, chest aching. 

_I don't even remember how to receive your passes anymore._

He clutched at his chest, trying to keep his heart from beating right out of it. He done this, hadn’t he? He’d let himself lose interest in basketball, he’d let himself push everyone way, he’d let himself throw those hurtful words in Tetsu’s face. 

He pulled his arms over his head, pressing his face to his knees and hiding from the street lights. 

_I fuck up everything I care about,_ he thought, sniffling. _What’s even the point of anything anymore? At least Tetsu wised up; he knows he’s better off without me._ He stared down at the concrete between his feet, watching the drops that fell and darkened its surface. _Who needs a burned out light anyways?_

Maybe Kagami Taiga really was an upgrade, and Aomine was just the old model. 

Aomine hated how that thought made him feel like another piece of his soul had been shattered. 

\-----break----- 

Kagami could not believe his luck. How had he even managed to find the one person he’d wanted to play more than anyone else, just on a random Monday night? He wasn’t going to question it too much, feeling that familiar adrenaline that came from a good game still pumping through his veins. 

God, he got excited just thinking about playing Aomine again. The boy was truly a genius, especially after he’d started really playing. Kagami hadn’t been able to think at all, his only hope of blocking the other’s formless shots being to rely purely on his instincts. He’d _known,_ from the moment he’d seen the other’s play on that video, that Aomine would be both a challenging and fun opponent. And when he’d started to actually enjoy himself, letting loose a bit and even having just the beginning of a smile…Kagami could have kept playing for hours more if it’d meant he would have gotten to see the other completely given over to his latent passion for the game. Kuroko might be under the impression that the other had lost his love of the game, but Kagami could still see it. It was a buried under who knew how much baggage, what with everything he’d been hearing about Teiko, but it was definitely still there. And Kagami was going to get him to bring it back out. 

His heart started pounding just at the thought of that first play. _That_ had been Aomine’s true power. He’d never felt such an intensity, the power coming from the other feeling more like a wild beast than just a simple boy. He could almost hear the roar of challenge that had issued when the other had gotten the ball, his eyes sparking like lightning as he entered a level of emersion in the game that Kagami wasn’t sure he had ever felt before. But now that he knew it was there, he _had_ to draw it out again. He had to face it again, push himself to where he’d be able to match Aomine even then. 

He could hardly wait for their next game. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine managed to collect himself and find his way home before his mom got too worried. 

“I made chicken katsu tonight,” his mother informed him, turning and smiling at him as he entered into the kitchen. 

“Hm, that sounds good,” Aomine answered distractedly, digging a water bottle from the fridge and chugging half of it immediately. She frowned in concern, taking in the sweat soaked in his clothes and the distant look on his face. 

“Do you want to go wash up before dinner? Your father should be home any minute,” she asked, not yet wanting to push. 

“Sure,” Aomine nodded, moving to his room to grab a change of clothes. 

“I’m home!” Aomine’s father called not much later, grinning as his mother walked out of the kitchen to greet him. Aomine welcomed him as well, mind still focused on the heavy weight of the new contact now in his phone. He shouldn’t have even saved it. He was never going to use it. He’d decided to quit basketball and he was going to have to stick with that decision. He’d never get used to living without it if he kept going back every time a new challenger appeared. 

(It didn’t matter that Kagami had been his equal at the least, his better if he was being honest. Perhaps they hadn’t been paying attention to the score, but he’d been able to tell that the other had made more baskets than him. Aomine knew he wasn’t quite as in shape as he used to be, knew his stamina was definitely not as strong as it once was from months of neglect, but he couldn’t help the feeling in the back of his mind that it wasn’t just that. That the redhead had simply truly been that good. He was quick to snuff that thought out though, shoving it behind the wall of apathy that blocked all the pain and hopelessness basketball gave him.) 

“So how was your day, Daiki?” 

Aomine blinked at his father’s question, slowly coming back to awareness as he’d been wrapped up in his thoughts. He processed the question slowly, brow furrowing with thought. 

“Ah, it was okay, I guess. Just sort’ve went for a walk to get out of the house.” 

_And met the guy that Tetsu replaced me with,_ he added somewhat bitterly in his mind. He frowned down at his food, pushing the rice around idly with his chopsticks. 

“Actually, I’m not all that hungry. Can I be excused?” he asked, peeking up at his parents. 

His mother bite her lip hesitantly. “You’ve hardly touched your food at all,” she observed with worry. 

Aomine looked back down, poking at a piece of chicken before picking it up and shoving it in his mouth. He tried to remember if he’d eaten at all today, if perhaps that was the reason he couldn’t imagine stomaching much food right now, but he honestly couldn’t recall if he’d even had lunch at all. And after a match like the one he’d had with Kagami, he _should_ be hungry…shouldn’t he? 

_I don’t feel right,_ he realized, foot twitching against the floor nervously. 

Aomine’s mother glanced over at his father anxiously. The man’s brow was furrowed with concern as well, meeting her eyes before both of them looked back at their son. 

“You know…” His father began. “I’ve been thinking and it’s been awhile since we’ve been to the lake. Why don’t we all plan a trip this weekend?” 

“I think that sounds wonderful. It’d be nice to get out of the house for a weekend, don’t you think, Daiki?” 

Aomine blinked, remembering summers spent catching cicadas and crayfish, fishing from the dock with his dad, swimming in the lake, staying at the lake house their family shared with Satsuki’s family. It’d been years since they’d been able to go there, what with him having always had basketball during the summer. 

“Yeah,” he answered, letting just a bit of a smile start. Maybe he just needed to get out of the city—and out of his head—for a bit. “That could be fun.” 

\-----break----- 

By Wednesday afternoon Kagami was getting antsy, checking his phone often and glaring at the blank screen. He’d been sure Aomine would have texted him by now, asking for a rematch. He _knew_ the other had had fun. So what was the hang up? 

He glowered at his phone, clutching the device tightly. 

_Like hell am I letting the only game I have with him be some one-on-one where we didn’t even keep score,_ he thought angrily. He grit his teeth in frustration. _I could text him, but what if he’s just busy? Everyone always says I’ve learned too many bad habits in America and I come off as rude; I don’t want him to hate me and decide to never play me again. Dammit, this is stupid. Why doesn’t he just text me already?_

He scowled before slumping on the couch dramatically, groaning out loud with boredom. 

_Fine. I’ll go shoot some hoops on my own,_ he grumbled, snatching up his bag and a ball before locking up and heading towards the court. He threw his bag onto the bleachers before dribbling onto the court, moving quickly to slam a dunk in the basket, trying to release his frustration with the situation. He’d gotten Aomine to play him once; he’d figured that would’ve been the most difficult thing to do after the other teen had quit. He hadn’t even considered having to work at making the boy play him a second time. 

After making a few baskets didn’t help to relieve any of the tension, he decided to just go for it. He grabbed for his phone, pulling up Aomine’s contact and typing in a new text. 

_‘Hey, you busy? I’m at the court if you wanna play again’_

Kagami sent the message, waiting impatiently for an answer. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine stared at his phone in confusion as it lit up with a new message. He reached towards the remote, pausing the movie before pulling his phone to his face. 

_Kagami Taiga._

Aomine stiffened immediately, warily opening the message. 

_‘Hey, you busy? I’m at the court if you wanna play again’_

He stared at the words blankly, mind moving sluggishly. He’d already decided he wasn’t going to play again, right? His brow furrowed with confusion before he exhaled roughly, falling back into the mattress and groaning at the thought of moving. But then he couldn’t quite shake the image in his mind of bright red eyes staring down at him with challenge. His heart started pumping faster just at the thought of another match against the other teen, waking him up slightly from the stupor he’d been in all day. 

_No, no, no. I’m done,_ he reminded himself, trying to shake the idea away. He wasn’t going to play. He wasn’t going to play. He wasn’t. Basketball helped nothing, and he definitely didn’t need Tetsu’s new light shoving in his face just how much more he enjoyed the game than Aomine himself did. It brought an ache to his chest that he was having more and more trouble ignoring the more often it was summoned. 

He startled slightly when his phone buzzed with another message. 

_‘We could even keep score this time. Loser buys winner whatever they want to eat.’_

Aomine snorted at the thought of losing before he could stop himself. He was definitely doing this guy a favor by not playing. If they were to play an actual one-on-one, he knew he’d crush him just like everyone else. So what if this ‘Kagami Taiga’ had more passion than him? That didn’t mean he had more talent. The other day was probably just a fluke, anyways. Aomine had been off all that day, it made sense that that would affect his playing. He probably had just thought the redhead was so good because it’d been so long since he’d played. 

His phone vibrated once more. 

_‘Unless you’re chicken’_

“Like hell!” he shouted aloud, sitting up abruptly in a knee-jerk reaction. He growled in annoyance, finally moving to type out a response. 

_‘Be there in twenty. Hope you’re ready to lose.’_

The response was immediate. 

_‘Don’t forget your wallet.’_

Aomine snarled, jumping up to get dressed before rushing out the door, calling a hasty goodbye out just before the door shut behind him. 

“Well he certainly looked animated,” Aomine’s father observed aloud from his seat in the living room. 

“And in a rush too,” his mother added. She smiled over at her husband, feeling content. He returned the look, both of them silently appreciating what they seen but not yet willing to risk jinxing the miracle by speaking of it. 

Because Aomine had been smirking ever so slightly as he’d ran from the house, his eyes alight in a way that neither had seen for months. 

\-----break----- 

Kagami was pleased with himself at having gotten Aomine to answer. He had a smirk on his face as he continued lazily shooting a few baskets, waiting for the other to arrive impatiently. He jumped from the three-point line, throwing the ball in a near perfect arc before it was abruptly smacked from the air by a blur. Said blur recovered the ball quickly and Kagami blinked, caught off-guard as the other rushed to the other side of the court and dunked the ball, swinging from the hoop for a moment before dropping to the ground. 

“I thought you were going to beat me?” Aomine asked, raising a brow. 

“I thought you were going to take twenty minutes. Excited to lose?” Kagami shot back, recovering the ball and dribbling idly to the middle of the court. Aomine took his place in front of him. 

The sidelines and beyond faded as the two focused on one another. Kagami could feel himself settle now that he was facing such a strong opponent, his excess of energy falling into the background, waiting to fuel him once the game actually started. He dribbled the ball steadily, breaths evening out as he sunk into a lower crouch. His feet twisted just slightly on the asphalt, his calves tightening in preparation. He grinned suddenly, wildly, before releasing all of his pent up energy. 

He took a step in, faking back before cross-dribbling the ball and spinning around the other. He hadn’t moved a full step forward, however, before Aomine was back in front of him. He jerked the ball towards him, turning his back to the other before he had a chance to steal. He dribbled low, condensing his form before bursting out at once, getting past his opponent once more. He took the opening to jump high, smirking as the ball sailed smoothly from his hands through the air and swished as it fell into the hoop. 

“Two,” he declared. 

Aomine couldn’t help but stare at the redhead as he went to fetch the ball for their next round. He felt himself breathing a bit faster already, fingers damn-near trembling with excitement. He’d been stopped. He’d actually tried his best to steal the ball from the other and he’d been stopped. He licked at his lips unconsciously, accepting the basketball the other checked in his direction. Kagami met his gaze evenly across the half-court line, smirking dangerously. Aomine could feel his aura strengthening, the wildness lurking under his skin pushing forward while also calling out to Aomine’s own. He could feel it welling up, the Zone, staying just beyond his reach. 

He dribbled the ball casually, feeling the rough texture sliding beneath his fingertips with every bounce. He didn’t offer any tell before taking off, rushing past Kagami with a flash of speed, though the other caught up to him quickly. He pulled back minutely, slowing down the pace of his dribbling and pulling a double crossover, grinning when Kagami didn’t fall for it like most players he’d met on the court. Obviously, if the redhead had grown up in America, he’d be familiar with street playing styles. He crouched and edged forward, earning a few more steps of distance before jumping back, leaning back until he was almost horizontal before releasing the orange ball. Kagami’s reaction was just a millisecond too late, his fingertips grazing the ball but ultimately not throwing it off its course through the hoop. 

“That’d be two,” Aomine drawled mockingly, earning a determined glare from the other. 

The game was on. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine was panting, feeling sweat trail down the side of his face as he leapt into the air, basketball in hand. He felt victory well in his chest and with it came that familiar bitterness of losing another potential opponent. As he’d figured, Kagami hadn’t— 

Aomine’s eyes widened in shock as the ball was smacked out of his hand, bouncing against the backboard hard before falling to the ground. Aomine landed at the same time the ball did, but Kagami was more prepared, snatching up the ball on the upward bounce and dashing for the opposite end of the court. 

Aomine’s body moved on instinct, twisting elegantly and jumping forward with one powerful step. His focus narrowed in on his opponent and the ball, his breath syncing up with the other’s fast-paced dribble. Kagami was fast, but Aomine was faster, managing to get in front of him just in time to block what would have been as powerful dunk. His eyes flared with sparks. His arm shook as he fought against the other teen’s strength, his palm stinging as he sent the ball careening from Kagami’s hand to out of the boundaries of the court. His mind roared with triumph. They landed at the same time, both panting, eyes glaring at each other. 

Kagami smirked, pleased. Exhausted, but also incredibly pleased. “It’s about damn time,” he grumbled, licking at his lips absentmindedly. 

Aomine’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?” 

“I’m saying it’s about damn time you took this seriously,” Kagami explained, looking smug. 

“Seriously?! What the hell? I have been taking this seriously, you—you---Bakagami!” 

Kagami’s eyes widened at the nickname, blinking a few times in surprise, before they narrowed into fiery slits at the insult. “Who the hell are you calling Bakagami, Ahomine?!” He shouted back. 

“You, you asshole!” Aomine yelled. “Who the hell begs for a one-on-one and then accuses me of not taking it seriously?!” 

“You weren’t!” Kagami refuted in an angry growl. He huffed. “The other day you pulled the same shit. You think too much when you’re on the court,” he informed him, still looking annoyed. 

“Yeah, well you don’t think enough,” Aomine grumbled back, unable to come up with a real comeback. Honestly he felt the redhead was poking near dangerous territory. He felt himself shutting down, that momentary instance of freedom lost to him again. He could almost cry at the sensation of losing that feeling once more after only experiencing such a small ripple. He knew the Zone went so much deeper, knew that he’d once dived into the depths of it, but now he struggled to even wrench the door open. He would always have his natural talent, of course, but before all else, one had to love the game with all their heart to open that door. Aomine bit the inside of his cheek. 

“I just want to play you at your best,” Kagami stated simply, like it truly was that easy. He walked over to collect the ball, dribbling it casually. “Kuroko said you used to love basketball the most. I mean, your play is pretty amazing anyways, but I bet it’s even better when you give it your all.” 

Aomine visibly flinched like Kagami had punched him, mind rapidly trying to flip the switches off to shut down. He tasted sourness in the back of his mouth, gulping to try and clear the way for oxygen only for him to feel like he was choking. No, no, not now. Fuck, not now. God, why was he even bothering with this idiot? Why was he even here? 

_Every goddamn time,_ he cursed, mentally berating himself over and over again. _Stupid stupid stupid! Don’t you know better by now? This is life now. There is not going back to the past._

Kagami frowned in confusion as the other boy froze, wincing like he thought Kagami was going to hit him. His hands were twitching nervously, his shoulders shaking minutely. 

“I’m going home,” Aomine spoke, keeping his head down as he moved to retreat. This was it. He was done. DONE. No more. He wasn’t going to keep doing this to himself, dammit. He had to stop. This wasn’t healthy, he knew it wasn’t. He’d decided this months ago and now he had to stick to it. 

“Hey, wait,” Kagami called, trying to gentle his naturally rough voice somehow, sensing something off about the other. He reached out, grabbing Aomine’s bicep and feeling the other boy tense up tightly under his fingers. “Dude, are you okay?” 

“Leave me alone,” Aomine growled, trying to yank his arm away from the other, feeling the dreaded sting from behind his eyes that told him had he seconds before a total meltdown occurred. Again. 

Kagami tightened his hold on instinct, scowling now as he jerked Aomine back, trying to get the other to talk to him. He didn’t know any more about the whole Teiko thing than what Kuroko had told him, but he was pretty sure that a lot of this shit could be sorted out if people would just be honest with each other. Sure, he came off blunt and rude sometimes, but his dad had always told him that it was better to be thought of as rude and honest than polite and a liar. 

“Seriously, I’m just trying to—” Kagami cut himself off, eyes widening in shock as he finally saw Aomine’s face. The other was looking away, refusing to meet his gaze, but there was no hiding the silver stream of water trailing from the corner of his eyes. 

“Uh…” He began oh-so-eloquently. Kagami nearly bit his tongue at his stupid mouth. Fuck, he didn’t know what to say! He didn’t even know what was going on! 

Aomine snorted without humor, sniffling loudly and tugging his arm from Kagami’s now-loosened hold to wipe at his face brutishly. He felt like dying when the tears wouldn’t stop; he ended up just covering his face with his hand. 

“What…Um, is this about something I said?” Kagami asked awkwardly. “Cause I’m not…really all that good at watching what I say, but I wasn’t trying to pick at an old wound or anything.” 

Aomine gasped a laugh, shaking with repressed chuckles as he shook his head. “Not your fault,” he muttered, feeling himself losing control again. “I just fucked up, is all.” 

“What are you talking about?” Kagami couldn’t help but ask, probably putting his foot in it worse. 

“I fucked up,” Aomine repeated, shrugging at the simple fact. “I let myself get bored with basketball, let myself be an asshole to everyone else, and now I’m paying for it.” He swiped at his face again before sighing heavily. 

“Dude, are you serious right now?” Kagami asked, brow furrowing with irritation. “Someone doesn’t love something with their all and then _let_ themselves become bored with it. Maybe you could have been less of an asshole and actually asked for help, but that doesn’t mean you did anything to deserve a mountain of shit landing on top of you. Bad things happen all the time, without any reason most of the time. You’ve just got to learn to adapt.” 

Aomine stared at him in surprised. “You don’t even know me,” he refuted. 

Kagami looked away a bit awkwardly, ruffling the back of his hair. “Well, uh, actually. I kind of found some of your play tapes from last year and then asked Kuroko about you and the other Miracles.” He glanced back at Aomine to meet his gaze. “That’s how I recognized you the other day. I’ve been wanting to play you for a while.” 

Aomine took all that in for a moment, taking in a deep breath and shoving everything down as far as he could to be dealt with when he got home. Or never; never worked too. “Well than I’m sorry to disappoint,” he muttered, moving to walk away again. 

“What—you didn’t disappoint!” Kagami nearly shouted as he realized the other was leaving. 

Aomine scoffed, glancing back at him with narrow eyes. “You were just yelling at me for not playing seriously.” 

“Yeah, I said you _hadn’t_ been playing seriously,” Kagami argued. “I don’t know, dude, there’s just this…” He waved his arm around, clearly trying to get something across. Aomine raised a brow in confusion. “…Aura!” Kagami thought of finally, grinning to himself. “There’s this aura about you when you get serious, like you forget to think about anything but the game. You did it that first play the other day and you just did it that last play a second ago,” he explained as best he could, gaining enthusiasm as he talked. 

Aomine tilted his head for a moment thoughtfully. “You mean the Zone?” 

Kagami’s eyes brightened. “The Zone? What’s that?” 

Aomine felt surprised at that, that someone could love the game as much as Kagami clearly did and not know about the Zone. “You don’t know about the Zone? Seriously?” 

“No, I don’t know about the Zone,” Kagami growled. “Now will you explain it to me? And then once I master it we can play a real one-on-one,” he declared, grinning as his eyes sparked in challenge. 

_Seriously,_ Aomine thought, _what is with this guy? He’s got a one-track mind. All he cares about is basketball._

_…Dai-chan! Why do you always want to play basketball? It’s all you ever want to do!_

_…Daiki, could you stop dribbling that ball long enough to do your homework?_

_…Aominecchi! I don’t know how you play for so long! It’s almost like you breathe basketball. So amazing!_

_…Aomine-kun is so dedicated, to always train for hours after practice. You must love basketball above everything else._

“So?” Kagami asked, pulling Aomine from his thoughts abruptly. 

“What?” Aomine questioned roughly. 

“So, are you going to explain the Zone or not?” Kagami demanded. 

_…To enter the Zone, one must first love the game with all their heart…_

_I’ve touched the Zone twice now since I’ve faced Kagami,_ Aomine considered. _That’s more than I’ve been able to reach for months. Maybe…_

He met Kagami’s eyes evenly. “Alright, I’ll explain it,” he agreed. 

_And maybe…_ he added in the back of his mind, almost not daring to hope. _Maybe you can help me reach it again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...good?
> 
> Honestly, I flip-flopped alot about this chapter. I was really happy with it until I started rereading it to proof it and the more I read it the more I unsure I got. Because you know, depression is one of those sicknesses that are different for every person, so it's hard to put it in a cookie-cutter scenario. I wasn't sure if you guys would like how I'm writing it. Mostly all I have to go on are my own experiences with it and that's kind of what gave me the idea to write this in the first place. So most of Aomine's symptoms and reactions are based on my own battles against it.
> 
> But anyways, enough of my talking. I really do what to hear what you all think of this.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry! I had meant to have this ready for AoKaga month, but the power went out for two days and we went to stay with my dad and he doesn't have any internet so I couldn't post. But! It's here now. :)

"Sounds weird," was not the first thing Aomine expected to come out of Kagami's mouth after he'd finished explaining the Zone over Maji. 

"Hah?" He demanded. "That's what it's like!" 

Kagami shook his head, stuffing his face with another burger before continuing. "Nah, like, it sounds cool. Just weird too. You're talking about diving into an ocean and opening a door, but in your mind. That's just weird." 

Aomine huffed. "Listen, asshole, I sat here and explained this shit to you--" 

"No, no, no," Kagami interrupted him. "Seriously, I'm not trying to piss you off. I just think it sounds weird. But the mental pictures help. And what your saying is: the Zone let's you give your all, 100%, right? That's it's purpose." 

Aomine sighed, dragging a heavy hand down his face and wondering how he got stuck here. "Yes, that's the purpose," he grumbled an agreement. 

"And to even be able to access it, firstly you have to love the game and secondly you have to be really good at it." 

"That's exactly what I just said," Aomine deadpanned. 

"I'm just trying to make sure I got it straight," Kagami growled, annoyed. "So quit with the bitchiness." 

Aomine's eyebrow twitched. "I'll show you who's a bitch," he hissed, hands curling into fists. God, he’d never met anyone who was more annoying. And he knew Kise! 

"Bring it!" Kagami shouted, red eyes blazing in his fury. 

"Fine! Let's go! On the court, right now," Aomine challenged, standing. Kagami followed, chucking their trash while they both raced to the street court. 

"First to twenty," Kagami declared, on defense as Aomine grabbed the ball. 

"See if you can keep up," Aomine growled. His eyes sparked lightning in his fury. He dribbled a crossover, sliding past Kagami with unexpected speed before slamming the ball home. He hung from the hoop for just a moment before dropping back down, glaring at his opponent. 

Kagami was furious, his rage barely contained as Aomine checked the ball to him. Aomine might have gotten passed him the first time, but he could give just as good as he got. His mind roared as he rushed the other, turning at the last millisecond to spin and dunk over the other's head. He met Aomine's glare evenly with one of his own. 

The game began. 

Playing ball with an angry Aomine was very different from playing with a normal one, it appeared. Kagami was having trouble staying angry because of the difference, in fact. Aomine wasn't over thinking things now. His moves were flawless and smooth, calculated but not hesitant like they had been. He could almost see sparks flying off his eyes as he pulled off amazing moves. And the aura he was giving off, the untamed ferocity, was calling to something deep within Kagami. He felt as if he was right on the cusp of tapping into that something, the sound of a animal roaring in his mind, sounding from far away, almost like he was underwater. 

Aomine slammed another dunk over his head, moving quicker than Kagami could follow. He was winning this go around. Kagami was trailing at 14 to 18. The redhead was glad to see the other being serious, but like hell was he going to let the other win. 

At Kagami's turn with the ball, he pulled a fake before rushing forward for a lay-up. Aomine's eyes tracked his movements, however, snatching the ball from his hands before rushing for the other side of the court. Kagami's mind roared in anger, his feet moving before he could even think as he twisted. He jumped from behind the other, knowing he wouldn't be able to get in front of him, smacking Aomine's shot to the ground before it'd even left his fingers for a whole second. 

His eyes sparked with lightning. A door cracked open. 

Aomine stiffened turning to stare at Kagami in surprise. The redhead smirked, eyes daring, heart racing. He felt like he could leap into the sky, like he couldn't miss, like no one could touch him. 

Aomine's eyes widened in realization. He'd…but already? How was that even…The blue-haired teen felt his fingers trembling, wishing for the feel of a ball beneath his fingers. He hadn't felt this in forever, this pull to play. It was a heady feeling; he was almost lightheaded with the realization that before him stood someone who could beat him. 

Someone who could be his rival. 

"Your go," Kagami spoke, pulling him from his thoughts. 

Aomine stepped off the court to fetch the ball. His limbs felt suddenly weak, rubbery. His chest was tight. 

Checking the ball in, he took off almost immediately after, moving to pull a formless shot smoothly. Kagami was instantly there though, blocking the shot with one of his insane jumps. He managed to hit the ground and grab the ball before Aomine could, rushing to the other goal to score. 

16 to 18. 

Aomine's heart clenched. 

The next go was Kagami's. He pulled out moves Aomine had only ever seen on the street, dribbling this way and that before he simply jumped where he stood, throwing the ball with an even form. Aomine jumped to block but the other almost seemed to float. Three points. 

Aomine's hands shook. 

Aomine was determined now, snatching the ball after the check and spinning past Kagami. His eyes were bright, though the sparks were gone now, his time having run out. Kagami was still fresh though, trailing right behind him. The redhead caged him in under the goal, keeping him from pulling the dunk he'd been planning. Aomine scowled, managed to back away and trying for a lay-up. Kagami blocked that as well though, eyes roaring with the fervency of a tiger. Aomine growled, eyes narrowed as he rushed after the other, fingers just managing to skim the ball's surface as he jumped for the block. The ball circled the rim teasingly before falling in the middle. 

Aomine's lips twitched. His eyes burned. 

"My win," Kagami stated with all the resolution of someone who knew they'd earned it. 

Aomine couldn't stop it. The feeling bubbled up from his chest, crawling up his throat. Finally he had to let it out, curling his arms around his stomach as he laughed, joyously and with all the relief of a trapped boy being shown a light. Tears came to his eyes and slid down his face in respite. 

Kagami's lips twitched before he grinned himself, shaking his head at the amusement of the other. Even having his limited interactions with Aomine, he understood that this was something rare. 

"So we're going to play again, right?" He asked as the other started to calm down. 

Aomine had thought he'd had control of himself but the question brought another round of laughter to him. The hilarity, the sheer absurdity, of him allowing his rival to get away now...Without thought, he tossed his arm around the other's shoulders, smirking. 

"Hell yeah we're playing again," he declared, laughing as Kagami tried to throw him off. He felt like he could breathe. Like he could see. Like he could live. 

"Oi! Get off me! You're sweaty!" The redhead hissed, though he was laughing a bit himself. The blue-haired teen's amusement was contagious. 

"Tomorrow. Same time," Aomine decided, grinning to himself as Kagami finally shoved him off of him. 

"Sure, sounds good," Kagami agreed readily. 

Anticipation swelled within him for the first time in forever. Aomine couldn't wait. 

\-----break------ 

Waking up was a slow process, had been a slow process for years as far as Aomine Daiki was concerned. So for the clock to strike nine and for Aomine to sit up like a rocket was definitely an oddity. 

"Oh! Daiki. You're up," his mother noted from the doorway, startled to see her only son up and fixing himself breakfast. 

"Morning, mom," he greeted, putting the scrambled eggs he'd been making on the plate where toast and a few slices of fruit already resided. 

"Good morning. Did you have plans today?" She asked, curious at the sudden change of attitude. 

"Yeah, I was gonna go meet up with...a friend. For a while," Aomine hesitated in revealing his plans, wondering what his mom would think if he told her he was going to play basketball. 

"A...friend?" She repeated, frowning slightly. 

"Yeah. We met a few days ago; he wanted to hang out today." 

"And who is this friend?" She questioned. 

Aomine seemed to finally note his mother's wariness, looking up from his plate to give her a slight smile. "Don't worry, mom. His name's Kagami. He goes to Seiren, but we just happened to run into each other." 

"Kagami-kun," she repeated thoughtfully, humming at she went to fix herself a cup of coffee. "Well be careful. And be back before dark," she instructed. "You'll need to start packing too, for our trip to the lake house. We'll be leaving tomorrow." 

Aomine blinked once, confused, before he remembered that conversation. "Oh right. I guess I'd forgotten. I'll be back in time to pack," he assured her, stuffing the rest of his food in his mouth. 

“Okay,” she relented unsurely. She wasn’t sure what she thought about Daiki hanging out with some boy she’d never heard of, but he was clearly in better spirits and was excited to go. Plus, with so little making that spark appear in her son’s eyes nowadays, she couldn’t bear to crush it with overprotectiveness. 

“Bye!” he called, shoving his shoes on and heading out the door. 

“Bye,” she answered, delayed by his enthusiasm. Perhaps this Kagami wasn’t someone to be wary of, but rather someone to be praised. She’d just have to wait and see. 

\-----break----- 

Momoi hummed to herself as she went about packing her bags. She was excited that she and her parents were going to be able to go on the trip to the lake house with Daiki and his parents. It’d been years since she’d been there; she’d always been as involved—if not more so—with the basketball club as Daiki had. She had to agree with her Auntie and Uncle. A change of scenery would probably do Daiki some good. 

The pink-haired girl startled as her phone rang, grinning as she moved to answer. 

“Hello!” she answered brightly. 

“Satsuki.” 

Momoi paused, surprised. “Akashi-kun?” 

“Hello,” Akashi greeted her politely. “I’m sure you are a bit surprised by this call,” he began, tone giving away nothing. “However, I wished to ask of Daiki’s wellbeing. It would appear that it has been some time since anyone has heard from him.” 

Momoi blinked once, pulling away the phone to stare at it and blink once more. Yep, her caller I.D. definitely said ‘Akashi-kun.’ 

“Dai-chan’s doing okay, considering,” she finally managed to answer, still confused as to why Akashi would have called about Aomine in the first place. 

“That is good to hear,” Akashi replied. “Of us all, he had seemed to be most negatively impacted by our successful basketball careers so I am glad he is finding respite.” 

Satsuki nodded to herself. “Right. I think that was what he was thinking, that he needed to take a break from it.” 

“Oh? So is he intending to return next year?” Akashi asked, sounding surprised. Or at least Momoi thought he sounded surprised. She could never really be sure with Akashi. 

She frowned. “I’m not actually sure,” she replied. “He’s been getting a little better, but he still misses it too, I think. But it’d take more than that for him to play again. Honestly, I think nothing but finding the rival he’s been looking for would be able to get him to play again.” 

Akashi hummed thoughtfully. “I see.” There was a weighted pause, like he wasn’t quite done. Momoi waited. “Have you spoken to Tetsuya lately?” 

“Tetsu-kun?” Momoi repeated, chewing her lip for a moment. “It’s been a couple weeks, I suppose.” 

“Then you have heard of his new light?” 

Momoi was beginning to think she knew where this was going. “You mean Kagami Taiga.” 

“Exactly,” Akashi spoke. “He’s making quite a name for himself, don’t you think? He’s already defeated Ryouta in a practice match and Shintarou in the Interhigh.” 

“Yes, it is pretty impressive,” she agreed. 

“Makes one wonder how he may match up in the Winter Cup.” 

Satsuki hummed in thought. “Tetsu-kun seems to think he can lead Seiren to the win. He said that Kagamin was even aiming to defeat Rakuzan,” she informed him, though she was sure Kuroko was keeping the ex-captain updated as well. 

“So he is,” Akashi confirmed her thoughts. There was another pause. “Satsuki, I would like to suggest that you bring Daiki to watch Seiren’s match against Yousen.” 

And there was the purpose of the call. 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit early to believe so much of Kagamin?” she asked, curious to know what had given the other such faith in the returnee’s abilities. 

“Tetsuya appears to have the upmost faith in his new light. Atsushi seems to disagree, but I feel Daiki would benefit to see the match in either case.” 

Satsuki bit her lip, fighting a grin. “You think Kagamin can beat Muk-kun,” she murmured quietly. “You believe he’s the rival Dai-chan’s been looking for.” 

“I wouldn’t presume to place so much importance on him just yet,” Akashi denied. “However, Tetsuya does offer a convincing argument.” He was quiet for a moment, but this time Momoi felt it was more from thoughtfulness rather than pointed intent. “It would be nice for Daiki to enjoy playing again though,” he added in a quiet murmur, his voice holding a soft tone of care. Momoi smiled gently. 

“I’ll make sure he goes to watch the game, Akashi-kun,” she agreed to his request. 

“Thank you,” Akashi answered simply, tone once more subdued into a polite and distant manner. “Have a good evening then, Satsuki.” 

“You too,” she returned just before he ended the call. Her eyes fell on a picture of the team from Teikou the first year they’d won the championship. 

“You have so many people worried about you, and you don’t even know it,” she murmured to herself, shaking her head with a sad smile. “But I guess we didn’t do a very good job of showing you,” she added, sniffling slightly. She reached for a shirt to fold and pack, wiping at her eyes before grinning brightly to herself. _We’ll do better this time, though,_ she thought. She reached up distractedly to trace the grin on Aomine’s face in the picture. _I promise._

\-----break----- 

“So you’re going to be out of town this weekend?” Kagami asked, shooting the ball smoothly. They’d already had a one-on-one—which Kagami had won again, to Aomine’s amazement and glee—and were now cooling down. 

Aomine hummed an affirmative, thoughts still locked on the previous game. He’d _lost._ Not only that, but he’d lost _twice_ now. To the same person. Actually losing sucked, but going into a game and not knowing if he would win, having to use all of his abilities…it was like a breath of fresh air after being buried in the dirt. He still wasn’t even sure if Kagami wasn’t a dream. 

“Well our other training camp starts Monday, so I suppose this’ll have to be our last match for a while,” Kagami deduced with a frown. He’d tried so hard to get the other to play him, and now that he had, neither of them were going to have time to play. 

Aomine’s heart clenched with the thought of going that long without basketball. He almost scoffed at the feeling; before Kagami had challenged him, he’d gone months without even seeing a basketball. He hadn’t felt this sort of longing to play since middle school. 

“Just text me when you can play again,” Aomine decided, snatching the ball out of the air before tossing it towards the basket. It fell in smoothly, barely touching the net. 

Kagami laughed. “Of course!” 

Aomine heard that laugh echoing in his head, even hours later when he laid in bed. The sound soothed his heart like a balm to a burn. 

\-----break----- 

Nostalgia hit Aomine full force as he stood in front of the wide lake, just taking in the clean smell of woods and water. 

“Dai-chan~” Satsuki sang as she rushed down the trail from the cabin, eager to join him. Aomine was just turning to wave her over before his eyes widened in surprise as she barreled into him, sending them both splashing into the water. 

“Satsuki!” Aomine shouted, trying to get away from the giggling girl currently trying to drown him. Momoi couldn’t stop her laughter, giddy to the point of deliriousness at the sight of the smile Aomine was sporting. It was small, but it was there. 

Aomine swam out further, finally relaxing in the cool water. He ignored the pouting pink-haired girl who was standing in shallower water, taking in a deep breath before ducking under. 

_“Dai-chan,”_ Satsuki complained, her voice distorted by the water. Aomine’s grin was shark-like as he crept closer while underwater. Then he sprung from the water with a strong kick, bursting into loud guffaws when the surprise sent the girl reeling backwards and under before she could gather her wits about her. 

“That wasn’t very nice,” she pouted, though she couldn’t really stay mad in the face of Aomine’s enjoyment. Looking at him now, she could almost see the silly little blue-haired boy who’d once accompanied her here, running around trying to catch cicadas and crayfish. The memory wasn’t going to garner him any mercy, however, as she kicked to splash a good spray of water into his face. He sputtered as she laughed and did her best to swim away before he could retaliate. 

“This was a good idea,” Aomine’s mother murmured, walking up to lean against her husband familiarly as they both watched Satsuki and Daiki playing in the lake below. She smiled softly, even as her eyes began to water a bit. “He’s laughing,” she spoke reverently, the squealing and splashing and laughing carrying up the trail to the back porch. “I never knew how much I loved that sound until he stopped.” 

Her husband hummed his affirmative, gently twirling a lock of her blue hair around his finger as they watched their son. She couldn’t help but be drawn to the sight of Daiki’s smile, a surge of protectiveness welling up in her. His joy was beautiful but so hard-earned. Now though, knowing just how much her baby had been hurting and for just how long, it looked like hope; felt like relief. 

\-----break----- 

Aomine couldn’t remember the last time he’d had as much fun as he’d had at the lake house. Not only that, but it’d been a while since he’d spent any real time with his family too. It was nice to joke around with his dad again or feel lovingly smothered by his mother’s hovering. Satsuki’s parents made up of the loudest parts of Satsuki’s personality, boisterous and compassionate above all else. And while they’d seemed to pick up that there had been a reason for this sudden trip out of the city—Satsuki had gotten her keen intuition from them, after all—neither had pried into their dear friends’ problems. They’d merely worked extra hard to provide support if asked or a distraction if desired. 

Monday hit hard. 

It didn’t make any sense. He’d been having fun. He’d been laughing and joking. He had even played again and loved it. Kagami had brought a light into his life unlike anything he could have expected. 

_It isn’t fair._

He groaned as beams of bright light fell into his room, rolling over to turn his back to them. _Just another ten minutes._ Three hours later meant it was now one in the afternoon and he still couldn’t work up enough energy to crawl from his bed. Even his grumbling stomach hadn’t given him enough initiative to bother with it. He’d simply buried his face in his pillow and fell back into unconsciousness. 

“Daiki?” 

His mother’s voice was soft, hesitant. Confused. She’d thought he’d been feeling better. She eased the bedroom door open, frowning at the lump under the covers that told her Daiki hadn’t moved from his bed at all today. 

“Daiki?” she repeated, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. He hummed, one eye fluttering open to meet her gaze before it was hidden once more by his eyelid. “Baby, are you feeling okay?” 

“Yeah,” Daiki exhaled. Lied. “‘M jus’ tired,” he slurred, voice heavy with sleep. 

She brushed his bangs from his face, noting absentmindedly that he’d need another haircut soon. She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, not feeling any heat. He didn’t have a temperature then. 

“You want me to bring you some soup?” she asked. She wasn’t going to push. Maybe he wasn’t physically ill, but there were other ways someone could be sick. 

“Please?” Daiki asked, voice quiet and hesitant while one eye peeked open again. 

She smiled kindly, still idly combing through his hair. “Of course. I’ll make you a bowl of miso soup,” she promised, standing and leaving the room. 

Aomine watched her go before closing his eye once more. Everything felt so…heavy. It was almost too much just to feel his lungs inhaling, chest contracting and expanding beneath the duvet in even breaths. Vaguely, he contemplated what would happen if he just stopped breathing. If he just stopped putting in all this effort and dove head first into the black waters of his mind. Sometimes it hardly seemed worth it, to fight, when he’d just end up back here anyways. Always falling from whatever high he’d reached with a suddenness so jarring it was almost like he’d bungie-jumped off a cliff. And then just before he would smash into the ground, just before the pain would end, that cord would snatch him back, stretched taut and strained. It felt like it was thinning with every drop though. Aomine wondered what would happen if it snapped. 

Aomine purposely took in a deep breath, holding it for three seconds before exhaling slowly. His mind cried out as he forced his limbs to move, pushing himself up to sit on his bed. He stared blankly at the wall behind his headboard, brain still sluggish. His arms felt weak; his legs felt leaden. 

He took another breath. 

The cord was tight. He could brush the ground with his fingers. That’d been close. Too close. 

_No,_ he thought, frowning in concentration. _I’m done. I’m done with feeling like shit. I’m done with hurting and hating and waiting for someone else to come pull me up._

Aomine made his legs slide off the bed, ignoring his shaking fists as he stood and headed towards the kitchen where he could hear his mother cooking. 

The cord was barely more than a few fraying strands, but Aomine didn’t even notice. He had his hands and feet to the wall, staring up into the bright sky determinedly as he reached for the next handhold. He pulled his body just a few inches higher. It was going to be a long climb. 

Daiki breathed and stretched towards the next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aomine's gotten a bit introspective here...
> 
> Okay, I feel the need to defend myself with the choice for Kagami to reach the Zone so soon. So I want to say that 1) here Kagami has had an extra year of practice; he's not just confident but has the skills to back it up (essentially he's already at the point where he was after he'd already beaten Murasakibara, according my head-canon) and 2) Aomine was the first one to push Kagami to force open the door of the Zone, not Murasakibara. I'm operating under those parameters. So I apologize if anyone disagrees or thinks I'm moving too quickly in that development. I'm really really trying not to. 
> 
> Also, on another note, I really hope Aomine isn't coming off as unrealistically back-and-forth with everything. Like I mentioned in the previous chapter, all I really have are my own experiences with depression and sometimes it feels like I can be fine for days at a time but then one day I wake up and it hits me all at once. It feels unrealistic to me and I'm the one it happens to, so I guess I'm a little self-conscious that it comes off as fake to other people. It's really not. 
> 
> BUT anyways! New chapter! Woo! Hope you all like it!


End file.
